BEEBO

Late to the Party Again

2011-11-01T10:58:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to watching the 2009 Michael Jackson movie, This Is It. It was pretty great. It made me think about how he really was a musical genius, and how crazy it was that at 50, he was still just as skinny as ever and could still totally do dance moves that shouldn't even be humanly possible.

He also comes across as really nice, gentle, and humble--which is funny considering that this is the same person who spontaneously accepted the fictional "Best Performer In the Universe" award and made videos featuring giant statues of himself. I guess we'll never quite figure him out.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-29T17:02:00.001-07:00

Recommended viewing: Mad Monster Party.

English Sausage Dinner

2011-09-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

Guy got inspired to make sausage rolls after a big platter of them appeared at the pub in the plotline of one of his TV shows from the seventies about life in the English countryside.

They turned out great! We used frozen puff pastry from the supermarket so it was easy to prepare. To go with it, I made brussels sprouts in garlic butter (I was trying to think of something English) and Dee's Corn & Tomato Salad from The Joy of Cooking.

For dessert, we had Spotted Dick boiled in a can! It's a moist steamed cake, sort of like a coffee cake.

"'Hey, you're from Yonkers? Do you know Stu Burns?"

2011-09-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

"It does if you leave it on the stove long enough."

That's a joke from the "What's a Henway?" era of my childhood.

Anyway, last night I made the best stew ever and I wanted to share it. It's modified from a recipe I found online. I added more bay leaves, switched out some of the potatoes for sweet potatoes, added a shallot and peas, and roasted the vegetables instead of frying them. And I replaced the butter with olive oil. The basic ingredients are:

1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 and 1/4 pounds stew beef (cut in small pieces)
6 garlic cloves, minced
8 cups beef stock
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon dried thyme
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
8 bay leaves
2 large sweet potatoes
1 regular potato
Olive oil (for brushing the vegetables)
1 large onion
1 shallot
2 cups peeled and chopped carrots
1 cup frozen peas

The first thing I did was heat the oven to 450 and peel and slice all the vegetables--except the garlic and peas. (I took the peas out of the freezer to let them thaw.) I loaded up 2 tin baking trays with the vegetables and (very) lightly coated them with olive oil.

I tried out my food processor's slicing feature for the first time. It worked really well but sliced very thin, so I only did about half the carrots, a sweet potato and part of the onion this way. The rest I sliced more thickly.

On the first tray, I put 6 bay leaves and a light sprinkling of kosher salt on top. The other one I left plain (except for the olive oil). After a while, the bay leaves started smoking, so I took them off eventually...but they made the kitchen smell really good.

While those roasted, Guy cooked the stew beef. He heated the vegetable oil in a cast iron pan on medium-high heat before adding the meat, then cooked until brown, about 5 minutes.

I then transferred the meat to our large Le Crueset pot and pushed it to the sides so that I could saute the garlic in the middle of the pot for about one minute. I added the beef stock, tomato paste, sugar, thyme, Worcestershire sauce and 2 bay leaves, and stirred. The original recipe said "bring to a boil" but I've noticed that it takes a really long time for anything to boil in the Le Crueset so I just waited until it seemed hot and then reduced the heat to medium-low, covered it and simmered for an hour, stirring occasionally.

At some point, I turned off the oven and let the vegetables sit in the oven until it was time to add them to the stew. After the beef had cooked for an hour, I added the roasted vegetables and peas and simmered the stew uncovered for 40 minutes until it thickened.

Success!

Avocado Plant

2011-06-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever grown a plant from the pit of an avocado? I've been getting interested in plants lately so I decided to try it. It's a slow process. I got my instructions from www.gardenweb.com:

"How do I do it?"

Open the avocado and remove the pit from the center. You can eat the fruit of the avocado, it's yummy and is full of nutrients!*

Wash the avocado pit under cool running water, you don't need soap to clean it. With your fingers gently wipe away and remove any of the green fruit that might be on the pit. Rinse it well and then blot it dry with a paper towel.

Carefully push three toothpicks into the thickest width of avocado, you want to push the toothpicks into the pit about a 1/2" deep. (It's okay if you push them in deeper or even a little less) The toothpicks will help suspend the avocado pit in water and keep the top part of the pit in fresh air and the fat base of the pit under the surface of the water. Be careful pushing in the toothpicks, they have pointy edges and could hurt if they poke your hands, it's all right to ask a grown-up to help with this.

Suspend the pit over a glass filled with water....the toothpicks will rest on the rim of the glass and hold the pit in place so it doesn't sink to the bottom. Always check the water level in the glass and see that the water is covering the fat base of the pit by about an inch depth. If the water is below that level you'll need to add some more. Slowly and carefully pour in more water from a small cup to avoid splashing.

Place the glass in a bright windowsill. In about three to six weeks the top of the avocado pit will begin to split and a stem sprout will emerge from the top and roots will begin to grow at the base.

When the stem grows to about five or six inches pinch out the top set of leaves. In another two or three weeks new leaves will sprout and their will be more roots.

It's now time to plant the young avocado tree. Place enriched potting soil in a large flowerpot (maybe 8" to 10" across). Fill the soil to about an inch from the top of the pot. Make a small depression in the center of the soil and place the pit, root-side down into the depression. Don't put it too deep...you want to have the upper half of the pit above the soil line. Add some more soil around the pit to fill in any air holes by the roots and then firm it into the soil by gently pushing the soil around the base of the pit. The tree's stem and leaves should be straight and pointing up (like a flagpole).

Give the soil a drink to water the pit. Water it generously so that the soil is thoroughly moist. Water the soil slowly and gently so that when it's poured in it doesn't gouge out holes in the soil. Keep your tree watered but don't let the soil be so moist that it ever looks like mud.

How do I care for my avocado tree?"

Keep your tree in a sunny window, the more sun it gets the bigger it will grow.

Remember to give it frequent light waterings but don't let the soil get muddy. If the leaves turn yellow it means that the plant is getting too much watering, let the tree's soil dry out for a couple of days, then return to light waterings.

When the stem grows six more inches pinch out the top two sets of leaves. This will encourage the plant to grow side shoots and more leaves, making it bushy. Each time the plant grows another six inches pinch out the two newest sets of leaves on top.

"Can my avocado tree ever go outside?"

Yes it can go outside in the summer. If your winters are cold ~ below 45 degrees (F) or 7 degrees (C) ~ you must bring your tree inside for the winter. Otherwise, if your winters are cool and mild, the tree may stay outdoors year round.

"Will my tree ever grow fruit?"

Sometimes they will begin setting fruit after they are three or four years old. It helps to have several avocado trees growing together to aid with pollination.

Dwight Schrute: Quote of the Day

2011-06-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

"I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you."

U-G-L-Y and it ain't got no alibi!

2011-06-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Nuff said!

The "Cleaner"

2011-05-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

Today I was looking for good places in our apartment to store the vacuum cleaner. I finally picked a place to the right of the refrigerator but I was worrying that it was an eyesore. Guy asked me if I wanted to get a "vacuum cleaner cozy." Old ladies sometimes put twee coverings over their vacuums to whimsically disguise them as butlers or grannies. See also: toilet paper cozy. These products usually involve crochet and/or yarn (to represent granny hair).

Then Guy came up with the concept you see here: The Ax Murderer Vacuum Cleaner Cozy! He's lurking in the shadows to the right of your fridge, waiting to kill you.

Put Your Paws Up

2011-05-23T09:39:00.001-07:00

Hulk's Bumper Stickers

2011-05-18T20:14:00.001-07:00

KILL YOUR TELEVISION--NO, I MEAN LITERALLY

MY OTHER CAR IS A GIANT GREEN FOOT

I SMASH FOR BICYCLISTS

Bumper sticker ideas by Guy Foulard

My New Hobby

2011-05-14T09:32:00.001-07:00

I'm teaching myself shorthand! It's really fun. I'm using the second edition of Gregg's Shorthand Manual Simplified which is the original 1955 version, including helpful photographs of secretaries and their bosses with captions such as: "The businessman insists that his letters be correctly punctuated and that they contain no spelling errors. This secretary has taken her employer's dictation and checked the spelling of any words about which she was in doubt when she transcribed. Her employer is obviously pleased with the letter!"

From Wikipedia:

Gregg shorthand is a form of stenography that was invented by John Robert Gregg in 1888. Like cursive longhand, it is completely based on elliptical figures and lines that bisect them.^[1] Gregg shorthand is the most popular form of pen stenography in the United States and its Spanish adaptation is fairly popular in Latin America. With the invention of dictation machines, shorthand machines, and the practice of executives writing their own letters on their personal computers, however, the use of shorthand gradually declined in the business and reporting world. Gregg shorthand is still in use today.

Several versions of this system were published. Pre-Anniversary, which includes the first five editions, the first one published in two small paper-covered pamphlets in 1888, the second published in 1893,^[2] the third in book form in 1897, the fourth in 1905,^[3] and the fifth in 1916.^[4] Anniversary, a revised and simplified form published in 1929, called Anniversary because it was to be published on the fortieth anniversary of the system (1928), but there was some delay in publication.^[5] In 1949, Simplified was created, in which many of the principles and memorized forms were removed or simplified due to findings of studies by the publishers and suggestions of many shorthand teachers.^[6] Diamond Jubilee was published in 1963, which simplified the Simplified version.^[7] Series 90 was published in 1978, which simplified it further.^[8] The last version was Centennial, published in 1988, with several similarities to the Diamond Jubilee system earlier.^[9] Besides these main editions, which were designed for the dictation speeds expected of any shorthand system of the time, a number of simpler, personal-use editions were published from 1924 to 1968. These included "Greghand" in 1935, and "Notehand" in 1960 and 1968.^[10]

Dog Day Afternoon

2011-05-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

Guy was happy that a recent book I read (Stalling for Time, a non-fiction book about hostage negotiation) made me curious to watch the classic film Dog Day Afternoon. I loved it! I would never have expected to love a movie about a botched bank robbery starring Al Pacino, but after seeing it, I really get what's great about him. He was so funny and interesting in the role. The movie was so New York-y and I loved the deadpan humor of it.

When we watched a "making of" documentary, I was surprised to learn that they actually filmed it in autumn, when it was cold out. The story is supposed to take place on the hottest day of a NYC summer, and I would never have guessed that that wasn't at all the case. The director Sydney Lumet said that they discovered a big problem in that the actors' breath was noticeable in the outdoor scenes. He said the solution for it was simple--you give the actors ice cubes to put in their mouths, which chills their breath and makes it match the temperature outside. Clever!

Weird Flyer

2011-05-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

Some friends dropped by yesterday and found this on the sidewalk outside our apartment building! I like the bullet point specifying "not sex or heavy duty cleaning." The idea of hiring this person and then expecting serious heavy cleaning makes me laugh.

The part about "group rates" is thought-provoking as well. And why is the service cheaper for females? I have some theories. But even though "all questions are welcome," I would prefer to leave it as a mystery.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of songs that I would like to sing next time I do karaoke:

Islands In the Stream
More Than a Woman
Bird Dog
The Look of Love
It Had Better Be Tonight
Catch a Wave
Rock With You
Wonderwall
Butterflies
Ring of Fire
(Living In) The Land Down Under
We've Only Just Begun
You Should Be Dancing
(I'm on the) Top of the World

Islands In the Stream

2011-04-17T10:44:00.001-07:00

You know how sometimes you don't particularly like a song--or you even dislike it--but then you hear it in a movie or TV show that you like and it totally changes how you feel about it? That happened to me with Islands In the Stream....after seeing it on Gavin and Stacey, I now really love it! Weird that an English show set in Wales is what helped me appreciate Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Well, whatever works!

In this scene, two of the Welsh characters perform this song. I can't remember if the actors are actually Welsh or English.

PEEPS

2011-04-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

Easter is coming! And we all know what that means--Peeps! Doesn't it seem like Peeps have grown in popularity over the years? Peeps contests are all the rage.

Fishstick's Book

2011-04-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

The problem with reading someone's blog (or book or anything similar) is that it has the insidious effect of making you gradually sympathize with them, even if you hate them.

I have experienced this phenomenon with Gwyneth Paltrow. As someone who deeply hated her, I subscribed to her newsletter Goop out of the same impulse with which you would pick at a scab.

Sadly for me, what started out as a nice clean hate gradually morphed into a more complex feeling: still hate but now combined with a certain amount of affection and even empathy. What can I say? She alienates me with her off-hand recommendation that the Ritz is a fun place to stay while in Paris (thanks for the tip, Gwynnie!) and yet...she seems like a well-meaning person albeit extremely over-privileged. She's probably nice to her friends. She now hates Madonna, which I can't argue with. And her recipes are good!

So I know I'll end up eventually owning this book even though the cover repulses me. There she is again, with her self-congratulatory insipid smile, harping on and on about how wonderful her family is, and how she's a daddy's girl--and there's the foreward from Mario Batali, the most celebrity butt-kissing chef in the world. But I bet the recipes are good! Stop me before I buy this book!!

Rockbox

2011-04-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

This is a photo of an amazing new place that recently opened in Capitol Hill called Rockbox. It's a karaoke bar with private rooms! This is the perfect venue for people like me who are too shy to sing in front of strangers. If, like me, you feel shy with strangers but hammy with your pals, this is the place for you!

Other great things about it: the food is great--affordable but gourmet; the drinks--same; and the prices are totally reasonable. It's $4 per person per hour during happy hour (and all day on Sunday) and $7 per person per hour the rest of the time. If there are only 2 of you, you get a tiny room. The first time, Guy and I went together. Then we went again and took my mom. Both times were MEGA-FUN.

Oh, also, the rooms are clean and swanky, with lots of wood. The server comes by enough to keep the drinks and food coming, then closes the door! Five stars!

http://www.rockboxseattle.com

Chocolate Banana Cake

2011-03-20T14:09:00.001-07:00

These are pictures of a chocolate banana cake I made. It was actually a fairly mediocre cake, but it looks pretty.

Green

2011-03-16T21:07:00.001-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I just found out today that Libya is the only country that has a flag composed of one solid color--green. And Guy told me why--it's because Khadafi is obsessed with the color green. I thought he was just making that up until I Googled it. Weird.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here are some other things that are green:

Trees, limes, moss, emeralds, envy, lizards, frogs, grass, Ireland, leprechauns, aliens, cucumbers, peas, spinach, football field, army uniforms, shamrocks, an inexperienced person, money, street lights, seaweed, lettuce, mold, green tomatoes, green eyes,
turtles, parrots, green M&Ms, snakes, the Jolly Green Giant, Robin Hood, Soylent Green, green tea, olives, apples, jade, iguanas, grasshoppers, dragons, 7UP, caterpillars, crocodiles and cacti.

I think that about covers it.

Neutrinos Are God?

2011-03-15T18:23:00.001-07:00

There's a volunteer at work I like a lot--he's a Vietnam vet named Larry who owns an old blind cat named Stinky and he does metalwork (Larry, not Stinky). Today Larry came by the office and started talking about "neutrinos" which is something I'd never heard of before. As he was talking about them, I was sort of thinking in the back of my mind, "Neutrinos sound like God!" and then Larry said, "If you were so inclined, you might see a spiritual force there." I said, "Yeah, I do!" and then Larry shared that he is an "unordained Baptist minister." He's from a small town in Missouri and apparently they trained him how to be a minister "but not necessarily a good one." He said, "I'm so liberal, I think a lot of people are surprised that I'm a Southern Baptist" but I said, "Martin Luther King Jr. was a Baptist too, so you're in good company." Then he said he liked Rastafarians because "their concept of God is really intense" but he left before explaining.

From Wikipedia: A neutrino (Italian pronunciation: [neuˈtriːno], meaning "small neutral one"; English pronunciation: /njuːˈtriːnoʊ/) is an elementary particle that usually travels close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, and is able to pass through ordinary matter almost unaffected. This makes neutrinos extremely difficult to detect. Neutrinos have a very small, but nonzero rest mass. They are denoted by the Greek letter ν (nu).

Neutrinos are similar to the more familiar electron, with one crucial difference: neutrinos do not carry electric charge. Because neutrinos are electrically neutral, they are not affected by the electromagnetic forces which act on electrons. Neutrinos are affected only by a "weak" sub-atomic force of much shorter range than electromagnetism, and are therefore able to pass through great distances within matter without being affected by it. Neutrinos also interact gravitationally with other particles.

Neutrinos are created as a result of certain types of radioactive decay or nuclear reactions such as those that take place in the Sun, in nuclear reactors, or when cosmic rays hit atoms. There are three types, or "flavours", of neutrinos: electron neutrinos, muon neutrinos and tau neutrinos. Each type also has a corresponding antiparticle, called an antineutrino. Electron neutrinos (or antineutrinos) are generated whenever protons change into neutrons, or vice versa—the two forms of beta decay. Interactions involving neutrinos are mediated by the weak interaction.

Most neutrinos passing through the Earth emanate from the Sun. Every second, in the region of the Earth, about 65 billion (6.5×1010
) solar neutrinos pass through every square centimeter perpendicular to the direction of the sun.^[1]

Helping Hands: Monkey Helpers for the Disabled

2011-03-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

O! M! G! This is my new favorite non-profit:

"Helping Hands: Monkey Helpers for the Disabled is a national nonprofit serving quadriplegic and other people with severe spinal cord injuries or mobility-impairments by providing highly trained monkeys to assist with daily activities.

"We raise and train these monkeys to act as live-in companions who, over the course of 20-30 years, will provide the gifts of independence, companionship, dignity and hope to the people they help."

http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/

Spider Misinformation

2011-03-06T09:55:00.000-08:00

One of my co-workers told me the other day that there are brown recluse spiders in Washington state and that they are extremely dangerous--that their bites "wither" your skin.

I sort of believed her because this particular co-worker seems down-to-earth and practical...but it still sounded fishy so I researched it online. I found a spider-themed website written by the "Curator of Arachnids" at the Burke Museum. (Nice work if you can get it!) Naturally her story turned out to be wholly false.

Here's an excerpt. I especially love the foot-long "camel spider" in Iraq who runs at 25 miles an hour, screaming like a banshee. Ha ha! Yeah, you gotta watch out for those:

Myths, Misconceptions, and Superstitions About Spiders

Rod Crawford, Curator of Arachnids, Burke Museum

As the only spider specialist in a large metropolitan area, I get many spider inquiries from the general public. Since I'm mentioned on the Internet as a spider specialist, some of the public inquiries come from distant places. When I lecture on spiders, adult and child audiences always have questions and comments. So do casual acquaintances when they learn that I work with spiders.

These people's concerns come from a widespread and surprisingly uniform set of assumptions and "general knowledge" about spiders. And almost all of this widespread information about spiders is false!

I don't really expect that this document, by itself, will make much headway against the flood of spider misinformation. However, I hope that those curious about spiders who find their way here will absorb enough information to ask me some new questions instead of the same old ones. I can hope, can't I?

Opinions expressed here are not necessarily endorsed by the Burke Museum or the University of Washington, but are entirely my own, founded on 39 years experience working with spiders and misinformed humans. Note also that I use "myth" here as a convenient catchall term for any kind of widely believed misinformation about spiders.

Just Plain Weird Stories

From: The Spider Myths Site at http://www.washington.edu/burkemuseum/spidermyth/index.html

Book Review: Strange Piece of Paradise

2011-03-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

On a recommendation at Elliott Bay Bookstore, I just finished reading this book, and I think it's one of the best books I've ever read. I'm just going to put the blurb from the back in my post, because I can't do a better job than that of describing it. I like her writing style and it's just such an interesting blend of psychology and introspection and Oregon legal history and lots of other stuff all intertwined in an extremely readable way. You really get drawn into it. Anyone who enjoys true crime would especially like this book:

In the summer of 1977, Terri Jentz and her Yale roommate, Shayna Weiss, make a cross-country bike trip. They pitch a tent in the desert of central Oregon. As they are sleeping, a man in a pickup truck deliberately runs over the tent. He then attacks them with an ax. The horrific crime is reported in newspapers across the country. No one is ever arrested. Both women survive, but Shayna suffers from amnesia, while Terri is left alone with memories of the attack. Their friendship is shattered.

Fifteen years later, Terri returns to the small town where she was nearly murdered, on the first of many visits she will make “to solve the crime that would solve me.” And she makes an extraordinary discovery: the violence of that night is as present for the community as it is for her. Slowly, her extensive interviews with the townspeople yield a terrifying revelation: many say they know who did it, and he is living freely in their midst. Terri then sets out to discover the truth about the crime and its aftermath, and to come to terms with the wounds that broke her life into a before and an after. Ultimately she finds herself face-to-face with the alleged axman.

Powerful, eloquent, and paced like the most riveting of thrillers, Strange Piece of Paradise is the electrifying account of Terri’s investigation into the mystery of her near murder. A startling profile of a psychopath, a sweeping reflection on violence and the myth of American individualism, and a moving record of a brave inner journey from violence to hope, this searing, unforgettable work is certain to be one of the most talked about books of the year.

The Parable of the Pie

2011-03-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a very sick girl. A man in town heard about the sick girl and decided to visit her, hoping to cheer her up.

He visited her every day for a week and his visits made her happy. One day, as he was leaving the sick girl's house, he noticed a man waiting for him on the sidewalk outside.

"I'm the sick girl's brother," said the man. "Thank you for visiting my sister! As a way to express my gratitude, I have brought you a piece of pie." And he handed the visitor a delicious piece of apple pie.

For the rest of the month, every time the man would leave the sick girl's house, her brother was standing there, waiting to hand him a delicious piece of pie.

But one day, as he was leaving, the brother was standing in the same place--with no pie.

"Where's my damn pie?" asked the good Samaritan, angrily.

The brother was taken aback. "I'm sorry," he said, "I ran out of apples. But as soon as I have some more, I will bake another pie. In the meantime, I want to thank you very much for visiting my sister."

"What? That's not good enough! I want pie! Where's my pie?" yelled the man, and he punched the other guy in the face.

The girl's brother ran away in fright and was never seen again.

Moral of the story: If someone hands you a piece of pie, enjoy the pie. But don't expect pie every time.

Big Mama Is Delicious

2011-02-26T10:28:00.001-08:00

While we're on the topic of chickens, I wanted to share this yummy recipe that I found. I made it last night for some friends, and it's a good recipe for entertaining if you don't have much time because it's delicious but you can also throw it together quickly.

Chicken Enchilada Casserole

Adjust oven rack to middle position; preheat to 400 degrees. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Finely chop one onion and cook until softened. (The recipe calls for "about 5 minutes" but I always find it takes longer to soften an onion.) Add 3 tablespoons chili powder and 2 teaspoons cumin and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in 2 (8 oz.) cans tomato sauce, 3/4 cup chicken broth, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Simmer until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.

The chicken used in this recipe is a rotisserie chicken. It's tasty and also cuts down on cooking time. You just throw away the skin and shred the meat into bite-sized chunks.

Now toss the chicken with 1/4 cup of the sauce, plus one cup shredded Mexican cheese and 2 tablespoons finely chopped cilantro in a big bowl. (I added more cilantro because I really like cilantro.) Spread 1/2 cup of the sauce in the bottom of an 8-inch square baking dish. Layer 4 corn tortillas in the bottom of the dish and cover with half of the chicken mixture. Top with 3 more corn tortillas (I ripped one in half to make it fit better) and 1/2 of the remaining sauce. Cover with remaining chicken mixture, 3 more corn tortillas (again, with one ripped in half) and 1/2 cup shredded Mexican cheese.

Wrap with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Remove foil and bake an additional five minutes. Serve with sour cream.

The Chicken Drama of Big Mama

2011-02-21T17:47:00.001-08:00

About six months ago or so, my friends (let's call them J and D) talked their parents (who live in Woodinville, Washington, a pretty rural area) into getting chickens. Actually, they got chicks--the chicks grew up and started laying eggs like crazy. Fresh eggs are different from the kind you can buy in the store. They are lots of sizes and colors--they can be pink and green! Sometimes they can have multiple yolks.

They named the chickens Clara, Big Mama, and Nugget. Big Mama is sweet and stupid; Clara is mean and will peck you; I'm not sure what Nugget's personality is like.

Anyway, Big Mama broke her leg! At this point my friends' parents had become very attached to the chickens, so instead of landing on the dinner table, Big Mama, inarguably the luckiest chicken in the world, was rushed to an exotic vet where the doctor put a cast on her leg to the tune of $300! Lucky, lucky chicken.

Now the family has a dark secret that they have to hide from their uncle, a farmer, whose head would probably explode at the news.

Get well soon, Big Mama!

"I For One Welcome Our New Computer Overlords"

2011-02-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

Ken's surprise Simpson's reference during Final Jeopardy last night threw me into a fit of giggles.

CAN A COMPUTER DO THAT? Well, maybe, but Ken definitely got the biggest laugh of the night.

Here's Ken's take on the whole Man v. Machine thing (from Slate, February 16, 2011):

My Puny Human Brain

by Ken Jennings

When I was selected as one of the two human players to be pitted against IBM's "Watson" supercomputer in a special man-vs.-machine Jeopardy! exhibition match, I felt honored, even heroic. I envisioned myself as the Great Carbon-Based Hope against a new generation of thinking machines—which, if Hollywood is to be believed, will inevitably run amok, build unstoppable robot shells, and destroy us all. But at IBM's Thomas J. Watson Research Lab, an Eero Saarinen-designed fortress in the snowy wilds of New York's Westchester County, where the shows taped last month, I wasn't the hero at all. I was the villain.

This was to be an away game for humanity, I realized as I walked onto the slightly-smaller-than-regulation Jeopardy! set that had been mocked up in the building's main auditorium. In the middle of the floor was a huge image of Watson's on-camera avatar, a glowing blue ball crisscrossed by "threads" of thought—42 threads, to be precise, an in-joke for Douglas Adams fans. The stands were full of hopeful IBM programmers and executives, whispering excitedly and pumping their fists every time their digital darling nailed a question. A Watson loss would be invigorating for Luddites and computer-phobes everywhere, but bad news for IBM shareholders.

The IBM team had every reason to be hopeful. Watson seems to represent a giant leap forward in the field of natural-language processing—the ability to understand and respond to everyday English, the way Ask Jeeves did (with uneven results) in the dot-com boom. Jeopardy! clues cover an open domain of human knowledge—every subject imaginable—and are full of booby traps for computers: puns, slang, wordplay, oblique allusions. But in just a few years, Watson has learned—yes, it learns—to deal with some of the myriad complexities of English. When it sees the word "Blondie," it's very good at figuring out whether Jeopardy! means the cookie, the comic strip, or the new-wave band.

I expected Watson's bag of cognitive tricks to be fairly shallow, but I felt an uneasy sense of familiarity as its programmers briefed us before the big match: The computer's techniques for unraveling Jeopardy! clues sounded just like mine. That machine zeroes in on key words in a clue, then combs its memory (in Watson's case, a 15-terabyte data bank of human knowledge) for clusters of associations with those words. It rigorously checks the top hits against all the contextual information it can muster: the category name; the kind of answer being sought; the time, place, and gender hinted at in the clue; and so on. And when it feels "sure" enough, it decides to buzz. This is all an instant, intuitive process for a human Jeopardy! player, but I felt convinced that under the hood my brain was doing more or less the same thing.

Indeed, playing against Watson turned out to be a lot like any other Jeopardy! game, though out of the corner of my eye I could see that the middle player had a plasma screen for a face. Watson has lots in common with a top-ranked human Jeopardy! player: It's very smart, very fast, speaks in an uneven monotone, and has never known the touch of a woman. But unlike us, Watson cannot be intimidated. It never gets cocky or discouraged. It plays its game coldly, implacably, always offering a perfectly timed buzz when it's confident about an answer. Jeopardy! devotees know that buzzer skill is crucial—games between humans are more often won by the fastest thumb than the fastest brain. This advantage is only magnified when one of the "thumbs" is an electromagnetic solenoid trigged by a microsecond-precise jolt of current. I knew it would take some lucky breaks to keep up with the computer, since it couldn't be beaten on speed.

During my 2004 Jeopardy! streak, I was accustomed to mowing down players already demoralized at having to play a long-standing winner like me. But against Watson I felt like the underdog, and as a result I started out too aggressively, blowing high-dollar-value questions on the decade in which the first crossword puzzle appeared (the 1910s) and the handicap of Olympic gymnast George Eyser (he was missing his left leg). At the end of the first game, Watson had what seemed like an insurmountable lead of more than $30,000. I tried to keep my chin up, but in the back of my mind, I was already thinking about a possible consolation prize: a second-place finish ahead of the show's other human contestant and my quiz-show archrival, undefeated Jeopardy! phenom Brad Rutter.

In the final round, I made up ground against Watson by finding the first "Daily Double" clue, and all three of us began furiously hunting for the second one, which we knew was my only hope for catching Watson. (Daily Doubles aren't distributed randomly across the board; as Watson well knows, they're more likely to be in some places than others.) By process of elimination, I became convinced it was hiding in the "Legal E's" category, and, given a 50-50 chance between two clues, chose the $1200 one. No dice. Watson took control of the board and chose "Legal E's" for $1600. There was the Daily Double. Game over for humanity.

IBM has bragged to the media that Watson's question-answering skills are good for more than annoying Alex Trebek. The company sees a future in which fields like medical diagnosis, business analytics, and tech support are automated by question-answering software like Watson. Just as factory jobs were eliminated in the 20^th century by new assembly-line robots, Brad and I were the first knowledge-industry workers put out of work by the new generation of "thinking" machines. "Quiz show contestant" may be the first job made redundant by Watson, but I'm sure it won't be the last.

But there's no shame in losing to silicon, I thought to myself as I greeted the (suddenly friendlier) team of IBM engineers after the match. After all, I don't have 2,880 processor cores and 15 terabytes of reference works at my disposal—nor can I buzz in with perfect timing whenever I know an answer. My puny human brain, just a few bucks worth of water, salts, and proteins, hung in there just fine against a jillion-dollar supercomputer.

"Watching you on Jeopardy! is what inspired the whole project," one IBM engineer told me, consolingly. "And we looked at your games over and over, your style of play. There's a lot of you in Watson." I understood then why the engineers wanted to beat me so badly: To them, I wasn't the good guy, playing for the human race. That was Watson's role, as a symbol and product of human innovation and ingenuity. So my defeat at the hands of a machine has a happy ending, after all. At least until the whole system becomes sentient and figures out the nuclear launch codes. But I figure that's years away.

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!

2011-02-14T17:01:00.001-08:00

Guy and I usually just celebrate by making a nice dinner. Tonight we're making pasta with peas and prosciutto, and hot fudge sundaes for dessert.

Guy's New Product Idea

2011-02-07T17:04:00.001-08:00

It's a toilet cleaner (similar to the one shown), except instead of making the toilet water blue, it makes it yellow.

It's for uptight hippies!

Would you like to 'let it mellow' but you just can't? Now you can! All your friends will call you Mellow Yellow....quite wrongly! etc.

Sharks

2011-02-01T17:15:00.001-08:00

The same author has another book called The Devil's Teeth which is really good too. It's about great white sharks.

The Wave

2010-12-28T16:56:00.001-08:00

I hope everyone had a good holiday! I am glad it's over!

Right now, I'm reading a book I really recommend called The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks, and Giants of the Ocean. It's about giant waves. The way she writes it and researches it is really interesting--she switches back and forth between the amazing surfers who surf these 60 to 80 foot gigantic waves to the scientists who study them. Both subcultures are pretty interesting. I enjoy the subject matter as well as her writing style--she writes it in the first person, but she doesn't have an annoying "voice"--her part in it all is fairly low-key and invisible.

She also wrote a book about great white sharks which I plan to read next.

Pictured above: Pro surfer Laird Hamilton, riding an insanely huge wave. He is married to 6-foot-three supermodel/volleyball pro Gabby Reece. They have three kids who, with that genetic mix, were probably born with superpowers.

Candied Nuts

2010-12-19T09:29:00.000-08:00

Candied pecans and walnuts make a nice holiday gift and, if you happen to have pecans or walnuts lying around, it's an inexpensive gift too. My Southern relatives are always mailing us pecans which is convenient.

Since we blew so much money going to Hawaii, I don't have much money left over for Christmas presents this year, so for gifts at the office, I'm making everybody a (small) jar of these candied pecans. People are always really impressed with these ("You made these??") but the funny thing is, the recipe is so quick and simple. Here's the one I use:

2 cups raw walnuts or pecans
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
salt

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Butter a large baking pan, or better yet, use parchment paper (easier for clean up). Combine nuts, sugar, and water in a heavy saucepan over medium heat. Cook about 15 minutes, until mixture thickens. Spread nuts on baking pan and sprinkle with salt. Bake 15 minutes, then turn nuts using an oiled spatula and cook 15 minutes more. Let cool, then put into pretty glass jars.

Hair

2010-12-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

We saw Guy's favorite musical, Hair, at the Paramount last Saturday. Hearing his millions of versions of the soundtrack never had any effect on me, but apparently seeing the musical is the straw that broke the camel's back and made me a fan too. Damn the persuasive power of musical theater!

The movie looks very silly:

Sunday Afternoon

2010-12-06T17:44:00.000-08:00

This is a drawing that Guy did of me yesterday when I was finishing a silly suspense novel I was reading. It had a few twists that made me gasp with surprise. It was a very, very ridiculous book called The Perfect Husband, but sometimes I enjoy reading really crappy novels.

Almas

2010-12-05T16:01:00.001-08:00

I spent last Sunday as well as this Sunday making pretzels. They're fun! I used a recipe from Joy of Cooking and it's really simple, you just need a lot of time for rising and it helps to have a Kitchen-Aid mixer with a dough hook. I love my dough hook; it means I don't have to do any kneading by hand.

The first time I made them (last week), I made the mistake of putting too much salt on them. This time, I'll lightly salt only half the batch, and leave the rest unsalted. Guy and I had them for dinner with (store bought) Queso sauce and salad.

I like this paragraph from Joy of Cooking in their chapter on yeast:

"Yeasts are tiny single-celled living organisms with approximately 3,200 billion cells to the pound--and not one is exactly like another. They feed on sugars and produce alcohols and carbon dioxide--the "riser" in batters and doughs. But you may prefer, as we do, to accept a Mexican attitude towards yeast doughs. They call them almas, or souls, because they seem so spirited."

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T09:09:00.000-08:00

Have a nice Thanksgiving, party people!

In the Foulard household today, we're baking pies and preparing. My mom may or may not be able to join us because it's been snowing like crazy this week, and it was snowing again this morning.

I'm making pumpkin pie, pecan pie, stuffing, and mashed rutabagas. Guy is making brined chicken breast. He was going to make turkey breast, but they were all out.

Edited to add: I forgot to mention, I made Parker House rolls last night too! They turned out really good. It's easy to make bread with a Kitchen-Aid dough hook, then you just need a lot of time to sit around and let it rise. Fast acting yeast is essential too, as it really cuts down on rising time.

Disposable Kindle

2010-11-20T15:01:00.000-08:00

Have a difficult-to-shop-for bibliophile on your x-mas list? Consider the Disposable Kindle! It's a pleasing gift, and way cheaper than the Original Kindle. Here are a few of its exciting features:

You can purchase any book you want! One book per Kindle. Then, when you're done reading it, just throw it away!

Short books weigh only 7 or 8 pounds. Longer books weigh more, but you can choose whether to separate it into "volumes" or simply buy one. For example, want to read Anna Karenina? Buy either a large 13-pound Kindle--or three lighter ones!

Disposable Kindle is not recyclable. After reading, just dispose of it conveniently in your neighborhood dumpster.

Convenient cord 14 inches in length. Be sure to move your comfy chair close to the electrical outlet for easy reading.

Hold Disposable Kindle at just the right angle to discern all the words on the screen! (If tilted at the wrong angle, page will be unreadable.)

Emits a high-pitched electronic whine which might give you a headache. Not good for people with sensitive ears.

Merry Christmas!

Caramel Coconut Shortbread

2010-11-11T14:53:00.001-08:00

I found this recipe on Rachael Ray's website. It's supposed to taste like Samoa (Girl Scout) cookies. Those are my favorite so it made me want to try this recipe. If it turns out well, I might bake a batch to give out at Christmas:

1 1/2 sticks (6 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
14 ounces soft caramel candies
5 tablespoons heavy cream
2 cups shredded coconut, toasted
1 cup chocolate chips, melted

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350°. Using a mixer, beat the butter and sugar on high speed until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Mix in the vanilla.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and 1/4 teaspoon salt, then add to the butter mixture. Mix on low speed just until the dough comes together. Press evenly into a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Using a fork, prick the dough at 1-inch intervals. Bake until golden, 20 to 22 minutes.
In a medium saucepan, melt the caramels with the cream and remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt over medium heat. Stir in the coconut, then spread over the shortbread.
Using a spoon, drizzle the chocolate on top. Let cool completely before slicing.

Christmas Is Coming!

2010-11-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

I've really been feeling the spirit of getting lately. Here are some things I want:

· Candy Thermometer

· Mens medium pajamas

· Rachael Ray Look & Cook

· Colorful knee length striped socks

· Lush gift box

New season of IT Crowd

Jordan's new autobiography

Red corduroy pants

Psychology Today subscription

Gift certificate for Target

I might not get 'em all, because the purse strings are tight right now, due to splurging on our trip to Hawaii. But that's okay!

What do you want for Christmas?

The Diamond Head Game

2010-11-09T18:15:00.000-08:00

I have an 8-year-old pen pal named Alice. I received her first letter yesterday and wrote one back today. It's part of a volunteer/school program designed to help kids practice their letter-writing skills. You exchange letters with your kid for a year and then at the end of the year, you meet each other at a big party. Since my office is all about volunteering, my boss gave me permission to blow off work that day so that I can go to this event--so, whooooooooo, party in a year!

Anyway, as I was writing to Alice today, I thought it would be interesting to tell her about my trip to Hawaii last week. I carefully explained that we went to O'ahu, a Hawaiian island, and that the neighborhood we went to is called Waikiki. Then I began to tell her about how we hiked up Diamond Head and...I was about to explain what Diamond Head is when I realized I don't really know myself. Is it a mountain? Diamond Head Mountain....no, that's not right. Is it a volcano? Sort of, but it still doesn't sound right.

Feeling a greater-than-usual need for accuracy (since my letters to Alice are supposed to be somewhat educational), I looked up Diamond Head on Wikipedia. And here's the definition:

"Diamond Head is part of the complex of cones, vents, and their associated eruption flows that are collectively known to geologists as the Honolulu Volcanic Series, eruptions from the Koʻolau Volcano that took place long after the volcano formed and had gone dormant."

Okay, obviously, I'm not going to attempt explaining that to a third-grader, so I just abandoned the whole sentence and described swimming with giant turtles instead.

However, skimming the rest of the Diamond Head post, I discovered something amazing:

"There was a 1975 televised game show, The Diamond Head Game set at Diamond Head. The host was the game show main-stay, Bob Eubanks. Final contestants could step into a "Money Volcano" and catch flying bills of real money."

Get out!! Why have I never heard of that?? I want to watch it! And Alan Thicke allegedly wrote the "memorable theme song" but I don't know anyone who remembers this...

Anyone?

Nubby

2010-11-04T10:42:00.000-07:00

There was a little seabird on our deck, missing one foot. We named him Nubby. He got along just fine. Cute little beggar. We saw him again a few days later.

We went snorkeling and saw giant turtles! I swam up really close to one. It was magical. I could hear his intake of breath, see his bottom row of tiny turtle teeth, and look into his ancient strange adorable murky turtle eyes. He tolerated me for a few moments, then swam off.

This is our last day in Hawaii. We are hiking up Diamond Head today.

7 Different Languages

2010-10-23T09:53:00.001-07:00

This skit made me laugh so hard!:

From The Catherine Tate Show.

Animated Candy Bowl

2010-10-19T20:18:00.001-07:00

This is a big hit in my office this week. I got it at Target--a bargain at only $14. You fill it with candy, and then when someone reaches to take a piece, the animated hand grabs at you suddenly, and yells something. It's either, "Gimmie a hand!", "Not that piece!", "It's mooooving!"...there are a few additional phrases which I can't remember now.

The voice was reminding my co-worker of someone, and she finally placed it--Ren, of Ren and Stimpy. It's a very obnoxious candy bowl.

I Would Like to Thank the Academy...

2010-10-13T19:21:00.001-07:00

Thank you to Dana of Philly Collector for bestowing upon me a Most Versatile Blogger award! Dana has an amazing collection of dolls which you can check out at her blog. Here are seven facts about me:

1. My favorite color is pink.
2. My favorite appliance is my Kitchen-Aid mixer.
3. I finally started watching Mad Men.
4. I didn't think I'd enjoy working in a hospital, but it turns out I do.
5. I love thunderstorms.
6. I hate milk.
7. Recent discovery: people are more impressed by grace than by perfection.

Thanks for the shout-out, Dana!

Nazi Zombies

2010-10-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

Dead Snow is a movie about nazi zombies in the snow. If you're like me, that's all you need to hear before running to the computer and putting it at the top of your Netflix queue. If you liked Shaun of the Dead, you'll definitely like this movie too. It's funny, gross, scary, over-the-top, and totally implausible, everything that a good zombie movie should be. And it's Norwegian, which makes it extra fun (unless you hate reading subtitles). I thought it was fun to hear what Norwegian sounds like, especially with all the English phrases that they use (like, "Beer!").

I think pacing is important in a movie like this--the creepiness should build slowly, before all hell breaks loose--and Dead Snow has excellent dramatic pacing.

Happy Halloween!

Donuts & Apples

2010-10-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last week at work, someone brought in two boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts. A week or so later, someone else brought us a bowl of apples.

The contrast in everyone's reactions was truly striking. The donuts triggered a very intense reaction--interestingly, mostly negative. The most common response was, "Oh no! Donuts!", followed by much discussion, longing, craving, giving-in or not giving-in, and just a big brouhaha in general. Despite the proclaimed negative response, those donuts disappeared fast.

It reminded me of when Deebo sees a squirrel or bird outside the window. He reacts with a mixture of horror and aversion, and intense attraction.

On the other end of the spectrum, the poor bowl of apples elicited exactly no reaction whatsoever. They were the Ralph Ellison of the food world. A few people apathetically gazed at them, said something like, "Oh. Apples..." and then walked right past. A few people did eat them, but not with anywhere near the same fanfare generated by the donuts.

Interestingly, a couple of people actively disliked Krispy Kremes, deeming them "too sweet" and expressing a preference for other kinds of donuts. And I found out that two of my co-workers are allergic to uncooked fruit, which is an allergy I had never even heard of before.

In conclusion, apples: respectable but somewhat dull, like Jackie Kennedy. Donuts: exciting but dangerous, like Marilyn Monroe.

Entertaining

2010-09-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

I had some guests over yesterday--my book club. The book we read was Nickle and Dimed. I really liked the book, but not everyone did.

Tonight I'm having more people over. Last night I made macaroni and cheese. Tonight, it's butternut squash soup. Guy holds a personal grudge against butternut squash soup, for some reason. He calls it "soup for ladies."

Cheers & Jeers

2010-09-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

Here's some stuff I've been liking and loathing this week.

1. Cheers! to Clinique Face Scrub Exfoliant Visage (for men). I was excited when I discovered this product. It felt and smelled and worked the same as an incredibly expensive product that I bought once at a spa...the only difference, in my opinion, is that this one is marketed to men who aren't willing to pay as much. This Clinque product costs $16.50 which might sound like a lot but it works really, really well, removes dead flakes from your skin, smells good, feels good, and is very refreshing to use. It lasts a long time too. (By way of contrast, the product it reminded me of cost $40!) It instantly makes your skin look and feel better.

This is the description on the official site:

"Pre-shave essential. Revives and smooths skin, removing dead flakes and oil buildup, clearing the way for closer, nick-free shaves. Lifts beard, helps reduce ingrown hairs. Contains rounded granules that won't scratch skin."

2. Cheers! to The Island of the Colorblind, by Oliver Sacks. I really like his writing and I just started this book and am enjoying it. The title is not a metaphor--it's about a tiny Pacific island where a strangely huge percentage of the inhabitants are colorblind from birth.

3. Jeers! to that 20-something hippie who parks outside our apartment, running his engine forever and slowly loading and unloading his children and camping equipment from his duct-taped car. Our new apartment is waaaaaaaay quieter than the old one, but that hippie still irks me! Turn off your engine, man!

Dude You Have No Quran

2010-09-16T18:20:00.001-07:00

This is all over the Internet but I still just had to post it. Not only is it hilarious, but it's surprisingly danceable as well!

Burning Mouth Syndrome

2010-09-11T09:40:00.001-07:00

This is a weird disease that I'd never heard of until last week, when I found out that someone I know has it:

Glossodynia or burning mouth syndrome (BMS) (also known as "Burning tongue" and "Orodynia") is a condition characterized by a burning or tingling sensation on the lips, tongue, or entire mouth.

Typically, there are no visual signs like discoloration that help the diagnosis.

Possible causes include nutritional deficiencies, chronic anxiety or depression, type 2 diabetes, menopause, oral disorders such as thrush or dry mouth, or damaged nerves (specifically, cranial nerves associated with taste).

One cause of burning mouth pain, which may be often misdiagnosed as burning mouth syndrome, is a contact sensitivity Type IV hypersensitivity in the oral tissues to common substances such as sodium lauryl sulfate, a surfactant commonly used in household products, cinnamon aldehyde or dental materials. There are now several toothpastes on the market specifically without sodium lauryl sulfate or other preservatives which have been found to be associated with sensitivities.

This condition appears more often in women, specifically women after menopause, than men. Pain typically is low or nonexistent in the morning and builds up over the course of the day.

Low dosages of benzodiazepines, tricyclic antidepressants or anticonvulsants may prove to be an effective treatment.

Alpha-Lipoic Acid 600 to 800 mg administered daily in three or four doses has been found to reduce symptoms. Trials have been small, but alpha-lipoic acid may be an appropriate adjunctive treatment option.

In the Land of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man Is King

2010-08-12T17:10:00.000-07:00

When I started my job, I was initially nervous to realize that my new boss thought of me as a "computer expert" which is not a label that I would ever apply to myself. I suddenly had a case of imposter syndrome. Even though I tried to be totally honest in my interviews, I wondered if I had somehow accidentally misrepresented myself.

After a few semi-harrowing days, it slowly dawned on me that when it comes to computers, everything is relative. My boss turned out to be one of those people who hand writes everything and, compared to her and to my office mates, I actually am a computer expert. What a relief!

In other news, today at work I met a retired service dog who was actually the first ever (official) service dog at the hospital where I work. She was little and gray and soft, with pointy ears and sweet eyes. It was quite an honor.

Mactini

2010-08-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

Guy and I disagree about this Peter Serafinowicz skit. I think the character is supposed to be somewhat of an imitation of Bill Gates (even though it's a Mac product). Guy thinks he's just a generic computer geek.

Pool Party: Success!

2010-08-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

We ended up being lucky last week. Even though it wasn't a particularly hot or sunny day, when we got to the pool, the sun suddenly came out. We got to have the pool all to ourselves and it was plenty warm enough....especially since it's a heated pool (80 degrees).

Pool Party

2010-07-31T11:02:00.001-07:00

Last weekend, it was extremely hot in Seattle. It seemed like a good idea to plan a pool party--my mom's condo has a pool--so some friends and I invited ourselves over this Saturday to swim in it and later have a Bar-B-Q.

Unfortunately for us, the weather changed. Now that Saturday is here, it's only dimly sunny with highs in the low 70s and a chance of rain. On the bright side, we'll probably have the whole pool to ourselves!

The IT Crowd

2010-07-29T17:21:00.000-07:00

My new favorite TV show is a sitcom called The IT Crowd. It is currently a popular show in England--still airing--but you can buy the recently aired seasons here in the US in a DVD boxed set.

It's about two nerdy IT guys who work in the crummy basement of an otherwise posh office building that houses a company run by a crazy CEO. Because he's kind of crazy and random, he assigns newly-hired Jen to manage the IT guys, even though she knows nothing about computers.

The description on the back of the boxed set calls Jen a "go-getter" but I think that's inaccurate. While she desperately craves the outward appearance of success, she has little actual drive. She's more the type of person who sits around and complains and hopes that success will magically happen to her. In other words, she's very relateable. She doesn't manage the guys so much as she pretends to manage them when someone important walks in the door. For their part, they tolerate her with a mixture of affection and exasperation. They don't respect her very much, but they do like her.

It's a show about people who aren't really making it and who don't really have what it takes. Maurice Moss is the most lovable nerd to appear on television since Ed Grimley. Roy is less socially maladjusted than Moss, but being slightly cooler tends to mean that he just finds that many more ways to humiliate himself.

I wanted to post a scene from the show here, but of course the embedding was disabled on YouTube. Damn those computer nerds!

60 Seconds

2010-07-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

When the remake of this movie first came out, I kept accidentally calling it Gone In 60 Minutes...which would have been a much slower movie about much less impressive car thieves. Actually, that movie would probably have been more entertaining.

Anyway, I wanted to recommend the job interviewing book that I found most helpful when I was preparing for my job interviews (before I got my current job). It's called 60 Seconds and You're Hired! and it's by Robin Ryan. She includes a long list of potential questions that you might be asked, with suggestions about how to answer, and one thing that really helped me was reading through all the questions and thinking about what my answer would be. Once I knew that I had an answer for anything I might be asked, I felt a lot more confident about going into the interview (although I was still terrified).

Jesus, Britney.

2010-07-21T20:22:00.001-07:00

Oh, Britney, Britney. Sadly, this is still an improvement for her, compared to her lowest fashion moments.

I consider Britney to possess exceptional natural beauty, because even though she has no idea how to groom or dress herself, she looks beautiful most of the time anyway. But she really pushes it!

Hyperactive Delivery Guy

2010-07-21T19:47:00.000-07:00

A fun part of my day today was when one of my co-workers remembered this skit from MAD TV. I used to watch MAD TV when it was on, but apparently not consistently enough, because I didn't remember this character. We gathered around her computer and watched the entire skit which is pretty long.

What I like about this skit--in addition to the funny character--is the nostalgia factor. Remember those innocent days of yesteryear, when recording a "clever" answering machine message was considered something of an art?

Blue Holes

2010-07-21T19:24:00.001-07:00

From USA Today:

Only a few miles inland from the Bahamas' sparkling coral reefs, the islands' limestone boasts dozens of submerged caves, "blue holes," some of them hidden in what look like island swimming holes linked to the ocean.

But swimming holes they are not. The inland caves on five islands sport freshwater caps covering heavier saltwater layers, sometimes filled with clouds of poisonous hydrogen sulfide released by salt-eating microbes, acting to preserve whatever falls within. Others contain whirlpools powered by the tides.

"Cave diving is really about knowing your limits," Broad says. "But it provides one of the most amazing experiences in life, and the scientific opportunities are tremendous."

Says cave diver and geologist Patricia Beddows of Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill., who was not part of the expedition: "Each one of these cave diving expeditions, without fail, provides an enormous amount of information. Cave diving is an extraordinarily powerful tool to allow us to get into the heart of karst (cave) systems worldwide."

In submerged caves such as Stargate on Andros island in the Bahamas, the expedition team reports:

• Specialized "chemosynthetic" bacteria that live without oxygen and feast on chemical reactions possible only in the caves.

• Stalactite curtains, or "speleothems," that contain a record of past sea level and climate conditions locked in their structures.

• Fossils of Lucayan tribe members who lived on the islands until the 1500s.

"We've brought scientists from many disciplines together so our results inform each other's work," Broad says. "The initial exploration is just a proof of concept. We still have lots of work ahead."

Coastal regions of the Caribbean, such as Florida, Cuba and the Yucatán, and other regions worldwide contain limestone permeated with caves, Beddows notes, leading to such blue holes. In addition to their scientific value, they often serve as freshwater resources for increasing numbers of people in those regions, which makes investigation of them essential for public health.

Sea level about 20,000 years ago, during the height of an Ice Age, was hundreds of feet lower in the Bahamas. The transition has left its mark on the speleothems and geology of the caves, Broad says, making each one a laboratory for measuring the effects of past changes in climate.

Alongside the danger, the blue holes of the Bahamas have offered little allure for divers who in some cases could instead walk to beaches with access to some of the world's most beautiful coral reefs.

"Why dive into a muddy-looking hole when you can head for the beach?" Broad says. "But (the holes) are really fascinating places once you start looking."

Gimmicks

2010-07-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying The Rockford Files a lot lately, and it got me to thinking about all the different 70s detective shows that I like, with all their various gimmicks. Here is my non-comprehensive list.

Barnaby Jones. He solves crime...and he's old!

Ironside. He solves crime...from a wheelchair!

Cannon. He solves crime...and he's fat!

Kojak. He's bald...and enjoys lollipops!

Mannix. He's a modern man...who hates computers. He prefers to rely instead on good old-fashioned footwork and sheer manliness.

Columbo. He looks like a bum, but he's really a lieutenant! Also, he drives a shitty car.

The Rockford Files. He has an answering machine.

Policewoman. Lady cop!

The Rookies. New cops.

The Mod Squad. Hippie cops.

Dragnet. Square cops. Make that extremely square cops.

Hawaii 5-0. Location, location, location.

The Streets of San Francisco. See Hawaii 5-0.

........................Am I forgetting anyone?

Hospitalis

2010-07-17T11:36:00.001-07:00

I work in a hospital now. In looking up pictures of hospitals online today, I found this photo and accompanying story about a freaky restaurant in Latvia, started by a doctor, with a "hospital" theme. Latvia does seem like the kind of place where people might be a bit quirky:

"A BIZARRE hospital-themed restaurant in Latvia is serving food resembling body parts with surgical utensils.

"Decked out in a sterile, modern medical environment and boasting scantily clad nurses, the Hospitalis in Riga serves hearty Latvian dishes and a macabre cake topped with realistic-looking body parts such as fingers, noses and tongues.

"Served on gurneys and operating tables, the restaurant provides diners with cutlery such as syringes, tweezers and scalpels to devour their meals.

"Owned by a group of local doctors, Hospitalis also has a trendy cocktail bar where bartenders in white lab coats mix drinks into beakers and test tubes. Guests are treated to disturbing dinner entertainment including morbid tunes on violins, while deranged patients are escorted through the restaurant in straightjackets and wheelchairs."

You can find more photos at this link: http://www.news.com.au/humans-on-the-menu-at-hospital-restaurant/story-0-1111119149223

True Love

2010-07-14T20:38:00.001-07:00

From the Washington Post:

Which was more astonishing about Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston's big announcement on Wednesday:

That the most famous teenage parents in America were engaged again, after a year of scorched-earth public bitterness?

Or that Sarah Palin reportedly only learned about it from Us Weekly?

The high school sweethearts, who broke up a few months after the December 2008 birth of their son, Tripp, were interviewed by Us on Saturday in Anchorage, where Bristol Palin now lives. They said they bonded anew when they met three months ago to work out a custody plan.

"I really thought we were over," Johnston told the magazine. But feelings changed when they went for a walk with their son. Nothing romantic happened then, she told Us -- but later, he texted her saying that he missed her and wanted her back. "I was in shock," she says.

The 19-year-old mom said that her own mother -- who traded insults with her grandson's father in the national media over the past year, as he posed for Playgirl and dished dirt about the family -- didn't yet know they were planning a wedding: "It is intimidating and scary just to think about what her reaction is going to be."

But if Sarah Palin was truly left in the dark about this ... why? Melanie Bromley, the Us reporter who interviewed the couple, speculates that Bristol Palin wanted "to be in control" of the story. "I got the impression that Sarah had laid down the rules for Bristol -- that if she's back together with Levi, [Sarah] wants him to finish his education, and get a job. But she wants to be with Levi now."

By telling her story "in her own words," as Bromley put it, "she's forcing her mother to hear her side of the story without interruption."

Well, zing! Some other things about that story:

Bromley would not say whether the couple was paid for the interview (conducted at a private home rented for the occasion). A reporter from rival People magazine, Sandra Sobieraj Westfall, spent the following day with Bristol and Tripp in Anchorage, for a story in this week's issue. In her interview, which Westfall says was unpaid, Palin did not reveal that she was engaged -- and Johnston declined to participate. Rex Butler, Johnston's attorney, did not return our calls.

A Journey Below the Photic Zone

2010-07-11T16:15:00.001-07:00

From Wikipedia:

Deep sea fish is a term for fish that live below the photic zone of the ocean. The lanternfish is, by far, the most common deep sea fish. Other deep sea fish include the flashlight fish, cookiecutter shark, bristlemouths, anglerfish, and viperfish.

Because the photic zone typically extends only a few hundred meters below the water, about 90% of the ocean volume is invisible to humans. The deep sea is also an extremely hostile environment, with pressures between 20 and 1,000 atmospheres (between 2 and 100 megapascals), temperatures between 3 and 10 degrees Celsius, and a lack of oxygen. Most fish that have evolved in this harsh environment are not capable of surviving in laboratory conditions, and attempts to keep them in captivity have led to their deaths. For this reason little is known about them, as there are limitations to the amount of fruitful research that can be carried out on a dead specimen and deep sea exploratory equipment is very expensive. As such, many species are known only to scientists and have therefore retained their scientific name.

The fish of the deep sea are among the strangest and most elusive creatures on Earth. In this deep unknown lie many unusual creatures we still have yet to study. Since many of these fish live in regions where there is no natural illumination, they cannot rely solely on their eyesight for locating prey and mates and avoiding predators; deep sea fish have evolved appropriately to the extreme sub-photic region in which they live. Many deep sea fish are bioluminescent, with extremely large eyes adapted to the dark. Some have long feelers to help them locate prey or attract mates in the pitch black of the deep ocean. The deep sea angler fish in particular has a long fishing-rod-like adaptation protruding from its face, on the end of which is a bioluminescent piece of skin that wriggles like a worm to lure its prey. The lifecycle of deep sea fish can be exclusively deep water although some species are born in shallower water and sink on becoming adults.

Due to the poor level of photosynthetic light reaching deep sea environments, most fish need to rely on organic matter sinking from higher levels, or, in rare cases, hydrothermal vents for nutrients. This makes the deep sea much poorer in productivity than shallower regions. Consequently many species of deep sea fish are noticeably smaller and have larger mouths and guts than those living at shallower depths. It has also been found that the deeper a fish lives, the more jelly-like its flesh and the more minimal its bone structure. This makes them slower and less agile than surface fish.

Sampling via deep trawling indicates that lanternfish account for as much as 65% of all deep sea fish biomass.^[1] Indeed, lanternfish are among the most widely distributed, populous, and diverse of all vertebrates, playing an important ecological role as prey for larger organisms. With an estimated global biomass of 550 - 660 million metric tonnes, several times the entire world fisheries catch, lanternfish also account for much of the biomass responsible for the deep scattering layer of the world's oceans. In the Southern Ocean, Myctophids provide an alternative food resource to krill for predators such as squid and the King Penguin. Although plentiful and prolific, currently only a few commercial lanternfish fisheries exist: These include limited operations off South Africa, in the sub-Antarctic, and in the Gulf of Oman.

Candwich

2010-07-08T20:46:00.000-07:00

Ewwwwwwwwwwww!:

Money in the Bank? No, Sandwich in a Can

DENVER — Is putting a sandwich in a can and calling it a “Candwich” the next can’t-miss billion-dollar idea?

Even if it is, investors in Utah who put $145 million in the hands of a money manager named Travis L. Wright will still have thinner wallets. A lawsuit by the federal Securities and Exchange Commission says that Mr. Wright promised returns of up to 24 percent on real estate investments, but that he put the money instead into Candwich development and other equally untried ideas.

Along with sales of canned sandwiches — Pepperoni Pizza Pocket and French Toast in a can were planned — Mr. Wright’s companies, under the banner of Waterford Funding, also invested in a company selling rose petals printed with greeting card sentiments and another selling watches over the Internet.

Utah has long endured a reputation as a place where many people are naïve or trusting to the point of losing their shirts. And the erosion of retirement savings in the recession has only compounded the problem, said Michael E. Hines, the director of enforcement at the Utah Division of Securities.

“A lot of 401(k)s have become 201(k)s,” Mr. Hines said.

Some scammers do not even need expensive-looking offices as stage sets. About five years ago, for example, a scheme promising a $50 million payout for a $5,000 investment raked in about $144 million nationally. In Utah, the group successfully sought investors by putting fliers on car windshields. Much of the money ended up in Latvia, Mr. Hines said.

Mr. Wright, who is 47 and lives in Draper, Utah, according to the suit, did not return telephone calls. Several listings for Waterford Funding were disconnected or not in service.

Meanwhile, the Candwich concept perseveres. The president of Mark One Foods, Mark Kirkland, who said he patented the idea of putting solid food in a beverage container with the slogan, “Quick & Tasty, Ready to Eat,” said Mr. Wright promised full financial backing for Candwich production that never really materialized even as investors did. He said he believed that canned sandwiches would ultimately sell, and hoped to go into production later this year.

The shelf life of a Candwich is excellent, Mr. Kirkland said.

Deep Cover

2010-07-08T19:00:00.000-07:00

What a crazy story!:

“Act naturally,” the Russians tell their espionage trainees before dispatching them to America.

Boy, did she.

Anna Chapman cut a wide swath in New York even before her arrest on charges of spying for Mother Russia, judging by the sultry shots and videos suddenly popping up everywhere, starting with her own Facebook page.

Now, thanks to her penchant for seductive poses, she’s an international star. You’d hardly know her real pose, according to U.S. officials, was deadly serious: seducing government officials and businessmen into providing state secrets.

That would be treason for an American, punishable by death. Chapman, a Russian, faces only five years in prison for her espionage-related charges.

Even the lurid New York Post, though, caught the whiff of danger in Chapman's gambit.

“Spy ring’s ‘femme fatale’” the tabloid's front page screamed. “Red hot beauty snared in Russian ‘espionage’ shock.”

“The Soho Spy,” ABC News called her. “Stunning Anna Chapman Accused in Russia Spy Ring.”

Stunning indeed. The San Francisco Chronicle's Web site ran a headline a carny barker would approve of: “Check Out Alleged Russian Spy Anna Chapman's Facebook Glamor Shots.”

Of course, she was already on You Tube. A dozen videos appeared seemingly out of nowhere, some of them short and shaky jobs apparently shot by anonymous “friends.”

But in another, professional video, whose origin is still unclear, Chapman gives an interview in Russian to an unidentified journalist. In it, she talks about how much easier it is to make business connections in New York than Moscow.

“It’s very easy here,” she says.

Her profile on LinkedIn, the social and business networking site, was less lurid but no less seductive.

She lists herself as the chief executive officer of PropertyFinder Ltd., a Manhattan real estate firm.

“Love launching innovative high-tech start-ups and building passionate teams to bring value into market!” she writes, under a professional-looking photo only slightly less lurid than the New York Post’s.

As the Chronicle urged, people were no doubt checking out Chapman's photos in droves -- the clicks for the New York Post’s alone were mounting hourly by the hundreds.

Oh, Linds

2010-07-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

She's like the George Bush of starlets. Remember how we all knew ahead of time that Dubya would screw up....but he screwed up waaaay more than any of us could have even imagined??

Who else would even think to do this except Linds??? It's so crazy. Side note: I do like the colored airbrushing effect.

From the Huffington Post:

"Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter on Wednesday to explain why she had "F*** U" sten ciled on her middle fingernail when she appeared in court Monday and was sentenced to 90 days in jail. She meant no contempt for the court, she said, but had just forgotten to remove the explicit manicure after getting it as a joke with friends"

We All Knew It Would End Like This

2010-07-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

From TMZ:

Judge Marsha Revel sentenced LiLo after an incredulous prosecutor, Danette Meyers, told the judge that Lohan has been thumbing her nose at the court.

The evidence was loud and clear today -- Lindsay violated probation by failing to attend her alcohol ed classes based on the schedule set by the judge. There were lots of excuses, but ultimately they didn't fly.

The judge said there was a pattern of violations since Lindsay was placed on probation in 2007 following her plea bargain in her DUI case.

Lindsay broke down as she addressed the court, telling the judge, "I did the best I could."

Lindsay dissolved into tears when the judge imposed the sentence.

Lohan must surrender on July 20 in Judge Revel's court.

UPDATE: Sheriff's spokesperson Steve Whitmore just explained ... generally, a female inmate in Lindsay's situation only serves 25% of their sentence ... which means LiLo will most likely spend around 23 days behind bars.

Ken

2010-07-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Guy and I went to see Toy Story 3 yesterday. We made the mistake of seeing it in 3-D...totally not necessary for a Pixar movie, since they are awesome and don't really need it! It also made it darker and harder to see. Other than that, the movie was great. They introduced a lot of amazing new toys including Ken, who stole the show.

Amy Doll

2010-07-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse Removing "Blake" Tattoo

2010-07-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite crazy celebrities is making a move in the right direction. It was an ugly tattoo anyway, Ames!:

Amy Winehouse has started making plans to remove a tattoo dedicated to ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil, according to a report.

The singer currently has Blake's name inked on her right breast but has been using the internet to research laser removal clinics, the Daily Star claims.

It is thought that the 26-year-old was spurred into action after new lover Reg Traviss told her that he was unhappy about the marking.

Sources close to Winehouse have revealed that she is feeling nervous about the pain she might suffer due to the removal procedure. One insider said: "It could take about 15 laser treatments to remove. It could even leave scars or melt her boob implant."

The star ended her relationship with Fielder-Civil earlier this year.

1001 Supervillain Quips

2010-06-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

I forgot how exhausting it is to start a new job! I have had an intense couple of days. I think I'll get used to it, but the learning curve is kind of taking it out of me right now.

Anyway, in the interest of doing an easy and quick post, here is a cute Mitchell & Webb skit we watched recently. I like the conceit that James Bond and his nemesis both have behind-the-scenes copywriters coming up with their witty one-liners.

The Fat Free Cream Cheese of Doom

2010-06-24T15:17:00.000-07:00

It's my second-to-last-day of work--or I should say "work" because, seriously.

The only slightly work-related thing I've done all day is re-label the "Petty Cash" folder so that it now reads "Pretty Cash."

Anyway, it seemed like a good time to finally document the insane hoarding of my former boss by scanning this little item that she's kept in the fridge since 2007. Actually, since before 2007--that's just when it expired. I put it back in the fridge when I was done scanning it.

After that time when I threw away a plastic bottle of water she'd had in there for months (not a new bottle, mind you--a refilled one) because it was getting in the way and because I've never seen her drink water, I found out the hard way to never throw away any of her stuff, not ever, not even when it's expired (as she explained to me) because "it might still be good."

When I protested that I'd never seen her drink water, she said, "I don't. But I always keep cold water on hand, just in case. I do it at home too." When I asked, "Just in case of what?" she said, "In case someone needs cold water."

At which point I said (silently), "Okay, Crazy" and let the baby have her way.

In case you are thinking: Maybe it was your cream cheese and you just forgot about it!, the answer to that is, no it's not because I would never eat "fat free cream cheese" because that's just stupid. Like buying "fat free half & half" (another product my former boss enjoys).

Doodle

2010-06-24T13:49:00.001-07:00

This is a picture I drew just now while on the phone with Puget Sound Energy, cancelling my account. The new apartment has an electric oven, not gas like the old place.

Horoscope

2010-06-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

My Rob Breszny horoscope this week is extremely apt!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Congrats, Gemini! You have not only weathered your recent phase of relentless novelty; you've thrived on the adjustments it demanded of you. I am hereby awarding you with the rare and prestigious title of Change-Lover, which I only bestow upon one of the signs of the zodiac every four years or so. So what's next on the schedule? The shock of the new will soon subside, giving you a chance to more fully integrate the fresh approaches you've been adopting. I suggest you relax your hyper-vigilance and slip into a slower, smoother, more reflective groove.

Best Worst Movie

2010-06-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

Guy and I saw this documentary last night and it was great! And hilarious. I highly recommend seeing it, but if you possibly can, watch Troll 2 first. (And Troll 2 truly is a strangely watchable bad movie that really delivers.)

We saw this movie at Central Cinemas, which offers food, wine/beer, and table service. And the food was excellent! I had a goat cheese artichoke pizza while Guy had the meat pizza.

Here's the description of the movie from the official website:

"Best Worst Movie is the acclaimed feature length documentary that takes us on an off-beat journey into the undisputed worst movie in cinematic history: Troll 2.

"In 1989, when an Italian filmmaker and unwitting Utah actors shot the ultra-low budget horror film, Troll 2, they had no idea that twenty years later they would be celebrated worldwide for their legendary ineptitude.

"Two decades later, the film’s now-grown-up child star (Michael Paul Stephenson) unravels the improbable, heartfelt story of the Alabama dentist-turned-cult movie icon and the Italian filmmaker who come to terms with this genuine, internationally revered cinematic failure.

"Is Troll 2 really the worst movie ever made as claimed by IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes? Or is Troll 2, as some would claim, a misunderstood masterpiece that never fails to entertain… a work of genius? Twenty years after Troll 2 was made, the feature length documentary BEST WORST MOVIE explores the Troll 2 phenomenon through the personal story of the cast of characters that took part in its creation and why it is celebrated by fans worldwide.

"In the summer of 1989, Italian director Claudio Fragrasso cast small-town dentist Dr. George Hardy and a group of unwitting Utah actors in an ultra-low budget horror film, which eventually became the undisputed Worst Movie in History. Soon after Troll 2’s initial release, Dr. Hardy decided he was better suited battling tooth decay than goblins. He retired from acting and returned to dentistry in his hometown of Alabama unaware of the legions of fans that would one day recognize him as a cult movie luminary.

"Nearly 20 years later, Troll 2 has suddenly become “awfully” popular. A corn-on-the-cob sex scene, pudgy-potato-sack clad midgets, and a peculiar plot about evil vegetarian goblins attempting to transform a young boy’s family into edible plants is unintentionally hilarious, yet strangely captivating and highly entertaining.

"Dr. Hardy finds his days of drilling cavities are met by nights of signing hundreds of autographs at record-setting revival screenings throughout the world. Unlikely byproducts celebrating the BEST WORST MOVIE include fan sites, music videos, dress-up dinner parties and even homage in one of the most successful video games, Sony PlayStation’s Guitar Hero 2.

"But what does the director of Troll 2, Claudio Fragasso, think about his film becoming “awfully” popular? Meet cast & crew and learn how it feels to fail miserably and years later be applauded for it. Best Worst Movie is story of one of cinema’s greatest tragedies… or triumph’s –Troll 2. The result is a hilarious and tender off-beat journey and a genuine homage to lovers of bad movies and the people that create them."

Moving

2010-06-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is a drawing that Guy did of me today (on a piece of cardboard). We're moving into our new apartment this week.

Spaghetti Dogs

2010-06-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

"Not that we have anything against a meal that looks like it was made in the Play-Doh Fun Factory press—we’re just not sure if we would eat it. That said, the creation of this meal is actually not very labor intensive: Simply puncture slices of raw hot dog with uncooked spaghetti noodles and boil."

Find more crazy hot dogs at:

http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Food/10-Off-the-Wall-Hot-Dogs.html

Put That Thing Back Where It Came From!

2010-06-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite moments from Monsters, Inc.

Muttley

2010-06-17T15:32:00.000-07:00

Guy just reminded me of Muttley, the schadenfreude-loving dog from the 70s cartoons. He was so cute, I always liked him. I wanted him to be my dog! He has quite a comprehensive write-up here in Wikipedia:

"Muttley is a Hanna-Barbera animated fictional character created by Iwao Takamoto and originally voiced by Don Messick (who also voiced Scooby-Doo). In the 2000 Wacky Races videogame he was voiced by Billy West. In the Japanese version, Takuzo Kamiyama acted.

"Muttley, a mixed breed dog (identified by the race announcer/narrator in the segment "Dash to Delaware" as a bloodhound, pointer and hunting dog after the Mean Machine had somehow gotten lost), first appeared in Wacky Races in 1968, as the sidekick of a nasty but incompetent and horribly accident-prone villain Dick Dastardly. While Dick was created as the equivalent of Professor Fate from the 1960s movie The Great Race, Muttley mirrored the film's character of Max Meen. Dick and Muttley were paired together in various later Hanna-Barbera series as bumbling villains.

"Muttley does not really talk; his main examples of speech are his trademark snicker - a wheezing laugh (usually made at Dick's expense) - and a mushy, sotto voce grumble against an unsympathetic or harsh Dick (usually along the lines of "Sassafrassarassum Rick Rastardly!"). Don Messick had previously used Muttley's distinctive laugh for the character of Griswold in an episode of Top Cat, then an embryonic version of Muttley (called 'Mugger') appearing in the 1964 movie Hey There, It's Yogi Bear, as well as for another Hanna-Barbera canine, Precious Pupp, in 1966. He also reproposed it for Alexandra Cabot's cat Sebastian on Josie and the Pussycats in 1970.

"Muttley wore only a collar in Wacky Races, but in Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines he donned a World War I style aviator's cap and scarf, and served as a flying ace along with Dastardly and two other pilots as members of the "Vulture Squadron". In this spinoff, he also sported many medals of which he was particularly fond, and constantly demanded new ones from Dastardly for following his commands. Similarly, Dastardly frequently ripped medals off Muttley's chest as punishment for his incompetence. When he received a new medal, Muttley would hug himself happily, jump into the air and float back down like a feather. This gag is almost identical to the behavior of Snuffles - a dog who appeared on the series Quick Draw McGraw in the late 1950s - and Scooby Doo, in the show A Pup Named Scooby Doo, when he received a Scooby Snack.

"Also in Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines, Muttley gained the ability to fly for a brief period by spinning his tail like a propeller. This trait often proved useful when he was about to crash. Muttley also enjoyed his own short segment in this series The Magnificent Muttley, where he would engage in Walter Mitty-style fantasies.

"Often, when Muttley grumbled on Dastardly and Muttley in their Flying Machines, Dick Dastardly would say "What was THAT?" accompanied by Muttley kissing his hand, to which Dastardly would usually reply "That's better.""

Air Travel Just Got Glamorous

2010-06-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

I really can't think of any girl better suited to grace the side of a jet plane than soaring beauty Dita Von Teese. She's cool, she's larger-than-life, stylish, sexy-yet-classy, and retro in all the right ways. Well done, Sir Branson!

The only way it could be better is if there were a Dita-themed martini lounge (and spiral staircase) inside the plane...with in-flight entertainment provided by Dita herself...but Branson is just a billionaire, not a miracle worker:

"How about hopping in Sir Richard Branson's 747-400 emblazoned with a painting of burlesque star Dita Von Teese?

"Von Teese posed in front of the plane at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas yesterday as part of an appearance with Branson, who is celebrating his Virgin Atlantic Airway's 10th anniversary of flying between London and Las Vegas. She even tweeted about wing walking in her Louboutins. Later he hoisted her on his shoulder for a photo opp."

Celebrity Sighting

2010-06-15T14:22:00.001-07:00

My mom is the queen of celebrity sightings. She has an encyclopedic knowledge of television and movie personalities and she also worked in midtown Manhattan for many years. She would wander around on her lunch hour and see all kinds of people: actors, newscasters, writers, you name it. Also, she was a receptionist at an exclusive private school attended by the kids of many famous people. She has exchanged smiles with Sidney Poitier; cracked a joke that made Rick Moranis chuckle; chatted on the phone with Tracy Ullman. According to her, Dustin Hoffman was "obnoxious" and Tom Cruise "smelled bad and was weird."

Anyway, she was just in NYC on vacation and called me all excited about her latest celebrity sighting--Michael Moore!

See, when she's in Manhattan, she gets to stay in this great apartment that some rich friends of hers own (or maybe rent, I can't remember). These friends travel a lot and have homes in other places, so even if they aren't there, they let her stay in their upscale, centrally-located apartment free of charge. She knew Michael Moore lived in this building too, but she had never seen him until this last visit...when she ran into him in the elevator!

She immediately introduced herself and said she was a big fan and had seen all his movies (which is true) and she said he was really nice, gave her a big smile, and asked her where she was from (she's English). They chatted about London and then when the elevator got to his stop (the penthouse, natch), he said goodbye and thanked her again for her kind words. She was so excited to meet him that she had missed her stop and had to ride the elevator back down to the eighth floor.

Skittles the Tiger

2010-06-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

Obviously, a real pet is better. But this does sound majorly cute!:

Microsoft game lets kids tickle tigers

(CNN) -- Microsoft on Monday unveiled the first games for its remote-control-free video game system, Kinect for Xbox 360. Several of the titles were pretty generic: a dancing game, a race car game, an adventure game and a fitness game.

And then there was "Kinectimals."

A demo of this bizarre but cuddly game showed a little girl tickling and playing with "Skittles," a virtual tiger cub. She threw sticks for the tiger to fetch and called it to the screen, where it licked the television and wagged its tail for her.

"Come here Skittles!" she called to her virtual friend.

The game features 40 wild animals and 30 types of interactions, according to Microsoft. Kids just wave their hands and talk to the TV to interact with these virtual pets. Microsoft Kinect, an add-on for the Xbox 360 that goes on sale on November 4, has a camera that watches their movements and a microphone to listen to their voices.

Here's how Microsoft describes the game in a news release:

"A wide-eyed Bengal Tiger cub cocks its head to the side and playfully peers at you. Memories of your first trip to the zoo come rushing back. 'Kinectimals' invites children, their parents and animal lovers of all ages to build lasting friendships with some of the world's most exotic creatures.

"Just like real pets, your 'Kinectimals' will come running when they hear your voice, respond to commands like 'jump,' 'roll-over' and 'play dead,' and purr with joy when you scratch them behind the ears."

Get Him to the Greek

2010-06-14T14:10:00.001-07:00

One celebrity that I've had very little use for over the years is Sean Combs, aka Sean John, aka Puff Daddy, aka P. Diddy. I always thought of him as a no-talent poseur, and I never really understood why he was famous--his average looks? His sucky music? His overpriced clothes? His bad relationships with women? He just seemed to exert some kind of weird influence over people that I couldn't understand. In addition to his general popularity, he's also very popular with celebrities. I remember thinking, "Maybe he just throws really good parties??"

So I am surprised to report that Sean Combs is possibly the funniest actor in this very funny movie! He has a fairly big part too--it's much more than just a cameo.

Russell Brand and Jonah Hill are both very funny too. Despite the fact that Russell Brand's character is a self-centered, self-destructive, manipulative junkie, he also radiates a sweet childlike charm that makes you root for him anyway. Jonah Hill plays the only sane person in an increasingly insane situation. And Sean Combs plays a megalomaniacal record company executive who is the worst boss ever. It's worth seeing in the theater if you get a chance.

Evil Genes

2010-06-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

This is the book I'm reading right now, and I recommend it. The author is insanely smart and a very good writer. She's good at explaining science in a way that non-science-y people (like me) can understand. She also writes about her own family and historical figures and all kinds of interesting stuff.

From the title, I was afraid her writing style might be too cutesy, but it's not at all. It's entertaining and readable, but also substantive.

From Publishers Weekly:

"Borne out of a quest to understand her sister Carolyn's lifelong sinister behavior (which, systems engineer Barbara Oakley suggests, may have been compounded by childhood polio), the author sets out on an exploration of evil, or Machiavellian, individuals. Drawing on the advances in brain imaging that have illuminated the relationship of emotions, genetics and the brain (with accompanying imaging scans), Oakley collects detailed case histories of famed evil geniuses such as Slobodan Milosevic and Mao Zedong, interspersed with a memoir of Carolyn's life. Oakley posits that they all had borderline personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder, a claim she supports with evidence from scientists' genetic and neurological research. All the people she considers, Oakley notes, are charming on the surface but capable of deeply malign behavior (traits similar to those found in some personality disorders), and her analysis attributes these traits to narcissism combined with cognitive and emotional disturbances that lead them to believe they are behaving in a genuinely altruistic way. Disturbing, for sure, but with her own personal story informing her study, Oakley offers an accessible account of a group of psychiatric disorders and those affected by them."

The Ancient Scrolls of Vectron

2010-06-13T16:57:00.001-07:00

Guy pointed out that the situation portrayed in this skit is similar to the feeling you get when you start a new job and everyone keeps using acronyms and talking knowledgeably about stuff that just sounds like gobbledy-gook to an outsider (you).

Happy Aloha Friday!

2010-06-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

It's a little insane that people can actually do this. Imagine how steep the learning curve must have been for the people who invented surfing! But, having learned it, I imagine it must be incredibly, ridiculously fun.

Beebo's Big Day

2010-06-10T13:24:00.001-07:00

I got a new job!!

I have had this song going through my head for days...but today is the first day I feel like I have actually earned it.

Blago Spazzing Out In Courtroom

2010-06-10T10:08:00.001-07:00

This is the kind of story that really makes you wish you could be there. (The photo at left represents my casting suggestion for the Lifetime movie.):

Judge to Blagojevich: Stop gesturing at trial

CHICAGO – A federal judge is warning former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to sit still and control his emotions during his corruption trial.

Prosecutors complained Thursday that Blagojevich made gestures and comments the day before during testimony by his former chief of staff, Alonzo Monk — and that several jurors clearly took notice.

Monk testified that he, Blagojevich and two others allegedly concocted a scheme to make money illegally.

Judge James Zagel admonished Blagojevich to avoid making any facial or other expressions during the trial.

Blagojevich has pleaded not guilty to scheming to profit from his power to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President Barack Obama and squeezing people for campaign contributions.

Homeopathic A&E

2010-06-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

This is a hilarious skit from season three of That Mitchell and Webb Look. If you're familiar with homeopathic medicine, it's funnier. Guy wasn't as familiar as I am with that stuff, so I explained to him about how homeopathic medicine is usually like a tiny drop of essence in a big container of water. He was glad I explained that because there are a few jokes related to that idea in the skit.

Monster High

2010-06-09T16:16:00.001-07:00

This new line of dolls sounds very enticing!

I have a weakness for "cute monsters." This is a fairly new product launch; there aren't too many photos of the dolls online. Yet.

Here is the amusingly cold-blooded marketing pitch from Mattel:

"Mattel has unveiled a new franchise targeting tween and teen girls called Monster High. The new franchise brings together the hip teenage descendants of the world’s most famous monsters to brave the trials and tribulations of high school. The property delivers rich content and relatable storytelling via publishing, Web, animation and live-action theatrical entertainment and launches consumer products in notable categories including apparel and accessories, and toys.

"Grounded in a fun and humorous storyline, the frighteningly fashionable students at Monster High capture all the awkward moments that teens experience in their high school years, the powerful bonds of friendship and the challenges of fitting in – all delivered through a “monster” chic aesthetic and tone.

"Monster High reaches girls via a line-up of all-star products and partnerships enabling teens and tweens to discover the brand in their own way and engage with the Monster High characters and storyline through multiple points of entry."

Happy Birthday, Guy!

2010-06-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

First Al and Tipper...

2010-06-08T16:23:00.000-07:00

...Now this:

Heidi Montag Files For Legal Separation From Husband Spencer Pratt
Tue Jun 8, 12:31 PM PDT

Heidi Montag has filed papers to officially separate from husband Spencer Pratt.

The reality star filed for a legal separation from her husband of just over a year, on Tuesday, according to court papers obtained by Access Hollywood.

Montag filed the papers in Los Angeles Superior Court, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split.

Pratt has 30 days to file a response (from when he is served) to Montag's petition for separation.

Interestingly, just a few days ago, Montag appeared to engage in a Twitter battle with her estranged husband,

"I can't believe Heidi hacked into my Twitter and made you think I like the Shannon Twins. Those bad influences are Heidi's friends, not mine," he Tweeted.

Montag replied with: "@spencerpratt - Get over it! @karissashannon1 & @Kristinashn1 are way cooler than you are!"

The filing comes just days after Montag reportedly moved out of the home she shared with her husband, whom she married in an elaborate Pasadena church wedding, taped for "The Hills" in April 2009.

"Heidi appreciates all the support and concern, we hope everyone will respect their privacy during this difficult time," Heidi's rep previously told AccessHollywood.com following initial reports of the couple's split.

Montag is now reportedly living in Malibu with her friend, Jennifer Bunney. The two are reportedly filming their time as housemates for an upcoming reality show.

You're Welcome

2010-06-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

You may or may not have already heard the good news, bad news about the movie The Hobbit. The good news is, it is definitely being produced! The bad news? Peter Jackson does not want to direct.

I can't really blame him. He is probably incredibly sick of the hobbits by this point. He doesn't even resemble one anymore, ever since he lost weight. (He looks really different! I was surprised when I saw a recent photo of him.)

Anyway, who will direct the next installment of the LOTR saga?

Two words: Leonard Nimoy. Not only is he an experienced director, but Leonard would also be great in the role of Gandalf, since he is now incredibly old. Also, I recommend that this song be featured prominently throughout the entire film.

You're welcome, Hollywood!

NBC Reporter Swallows Bug

2010-06-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

This is silly but it makes me laugh.

Biggest Dork In the World Marrying Lucky Lady #4

2010-06-04T16:28:00.001-07:00

I'm sure that this time, it'll be awesome!! I'm glad you finally met the right girl. Good luck, El Dorko!:

Will the fourth time be the charm for Rush Limbaugh?

Limbaugh, 59, is set to marry 33-year-old girlfriend Kathryn Rogers on Saturday at the talk radio star's palatial Florida beachfront property.

Although Limbaugh never seems at a loss for words, he's been uncharacteristically quiet about the pending nuptials. Fill-in hosts have taken over the show, with his website simply noting that "El Rushbo will be out until Tuesday, June 15th."

Once Again, Bill Clinton Proves He Is Awesome

2010-06-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

One can only imagine how incredibly psyched Laura must have been to suddenly see Bill Clinton's face after five months in a North Korean prison. So it makes sense she'd name her kid after him. I'm just a tiny bit disappointed that it's "Jefferson" and not "Clintonia" or "Billie" or "Clint."

Sidenote: A different article (on the same subject) had this weird headline: Laura Ling names new baby for her sister, Bill Clinton. I understand what the writer meant--and I know that using commas in that way is standard procedure for headline writing--but in this case, the oddly placed comma unfortunately seems to assert that Laura Ling's sister is Bill Clinton.

Anyway, getting back to Bubba's awesomeness:

Reporter Laura Ling names baby after Bill Clinton

Nearly a year after the former president negotiated the release of two Current TV reporters in North Korea, one of them, Laura Ling, has honored Clinton by naming her new baby after him.

According to People's Cynthia Wang, Ling gave birth to a girl, Li Jefferson Clayton, on Wednesday night in Burbank, Calif. (The father is Ling's husband, financial analyst Iain Clayton.) The baby's first name, Li, is a nod to Ling's sister Lisa, a former co-host of "The View," and Jefferson is Clinton's middle name.

Ling, along with her colleague Euna Lee, was detained for five months last year after the North Korean military arrested them as they were reporting along the country's border with China. Accused of spying and illegally crossing the border, the women were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor in a government detention camp, but last August, Clinton negotiated their release.

Ling is still tight with the former prez, telling People that Clinton had followed up with her. "He has checked in on me several times to see how I'm doing and has been so concerned and caring, " Ling said. "He's such a wonderful human being."

Wino Dating Someone Normal

2010-06-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

...at least he appears normal. Which in itself is already a huge improvement for Amy. Good going, Ames! From the Daily Mail:

Revealed, the clean cut new boyfriend who may tame Amy Winehouse

By Simon CableLast June 2010

Aside from the jaunty pork pie hat, Reg Traviss would seem to share the same sense of style as Amy Winehouse's previous beau.

The key difference is that the singer's new boyfriend is the kind of chap her father would happily welcome into the home.

His daughter's former heroin-addict husband Blake Fielder-Civil, on the other hand, would more likely feel a foot in his rear.

Winehouse's turbulent love life has driven her father Mitch to distraction in the past. But yesterday he announced to his delight that she has found a ' normal bloke' in film director Reg Traviss, 33. The pair stepped out together in Central London on Monday night, with 26-year-old Winehouse on her best behaviour. They enjoyed a low-key dinner at a restaurant before moving on to a pub and finally a friend's party - all of which passed without incident.

Traviss is the antithesis of the tattooed Fielder-Civil, whom Winehouse married in 2007. They divorced last year, but rekindled their relationship just weeks later. Fielder-Civil, who was jailed for a brutal assault, was blamed by Winehouse's father for his daughter's drug and alcohol addictions. They finally split in April after she said she no longer wanted him to move home with her.

The singer was introduced to Traviss through a mutual friend and he owns a house just minutes away from her new home in Marylebone. With his hair gelled back and wearing a smart suit and tie, Traviss appeared to have modelled himself on a character from hit U.S. TV show Mad Men.

Traviss directed the 2006 film Joy Division, about a German teenager in the Second World War. A friend said: 'Traviss has a promising career and is much more mature than Blake.' Mr Winehouse added his approval last night when he told Scottish TV programme, The Hour, that he had already met Traviss.

He said: 'I'm happy she's moving on with her life. He's a normal bloke, very nice.'

It Must Be Viewed

2010-06-01T15:06:00.001-07:00

Don't forget to watch!:

Lady Gaga's Larry King Interview Will Air Tuesday June 1

Lady Gaga appeared on Larry King Live on CNN and talked about a number of personal subjects, including being tested borderline positive for lupus and how she still misses Michael Jackson. Her interview will air Tuesday night.

Coasters

2010-05-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

We've been clearing out our storage space today and one of the boxes we unpacked contained these "coasters" that Guy made. They are really just old plastic CD cases that he decorated. The first one is a portrait of me that he made by cutting and pasting colored construction paper.

The second one is a quick sketch of Osama Bin Laden and Bert--which should give you a fairly accurate sense of how long ago Guy drew it.