"Damn You, Hal Gurney!"

"See what I did here? I pretended like the joke didn't work...and I made a really goofy face, and it got a huge laugh! Pretty good, huh?"

"Lack of Nuggets"

Wow! This nutball really wanted those Chicken McNuggets!

This sort of puts the Oklahoma girl to shame. Sorry, but your "mental problems" don't look so impressive now, Mindy!:

January 4, 2010- AP News
Police: Ohio Woman Hit Window Over Lack of Nuggets

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) -- Police say an Ohio woman punched through a McDonald's drive-through window because Chicken McNuggets weren't available. Police were called Friday to the restaurant in Toledo.

Police say 24-year-old Melodi Dushane was treated for injuries, then jailed. She pleaded not guilty to a vandalism charge. She was released on a recognizance bond and ordered not to have contact with the restaurant. The phone number for her home address isn't listed.

A manager at the McDonald's declined Monday to discuss the incident.

More Sad Hallyday News

I think it's fair to say that the Hallyday family had the worst Christmas ever! Poor Laura. I hope she feels better soon:

Actress LAURA SMET, the daughter of French rocker JOHNNY HALLYDAY and screen star NATHALIE BAYE, has been rushed to hospital following a suicide attempt in Paris.

Smet, 26, was taken to Hopital du Val-de-Grace by ambulance on Monday afternoon (04Jan09) after her boyfriend Julien Delajoux called emergency services at 2pm local time. It is believed she had downed a mixture of alcohol and medication near St Germain Des Pres church. Paramedics administered first aid at the scene and then transferred Smet to hospital, where she is reportedly recovering from the scare.

Last month (Dec09), her dad Johnny Hallyday launched a lawsuit against surgeon Stephane Delajoux - the brother of Julien Delajoux - over allegations he botched surgery to the singer's back. On Sunday (03Jan10), Smet gave an interview to French newspaper JDD in which she revealed she was torn between her love for her father and her loyalty towards her boyfriend Delajoux.

I Wish They All Could Be Oklahoma Girls

Don't you love this girl?? I have the inside scoop on this story--a friend of a friend of a friend knows the ex-boyfriend in question and asserts that he totally had it coming!:

Ambulance Stolen From Okla. Hospital
Driver Arrested In Del City
December 11, 2009
DEL CITY, Okla. --
A woman is in the Oklahoma County jail after allegedly stealing an ambulance early Friday.

State troopers said Mindy Jones, 28, took the $120,000 emergency vehicle from the hospital. Jones was supposed to undergo a blood test after she was arrested for a hit-and-run crash earlier in the night, authorities said.

Investigators said she slipped past security and got into the ambulance, which was left running with the keys inside.

A trooper spotted the stolen ambulance east of Oklahoma City and tried to pull over Jones.

The short chase ended when Jones parked the ambulance in the front yard at a house. Troopers said Jones was trying to find her ex-boyfriend.

Jones admitted to Eyewitness News 5 that she took the ambulance.

"I had the ambulance and I had a pretty good time driving it," Jones said.

Jones faces several charges. No one was hurt and the ambulance was not damaged.

A representative for React EMS said it was an oversight to not have the ambulance doors locked. "It's one of those bizarre incidents," said Shawnee Police Chief Russell Frantz. "The officer was a few feet away doing some paperwork and didn't hear her slip out. (The officer) thought she was passed out on a gurney."

In an interview with Eyewitness News 5, Jones explained why she did it.

"I have mental problems," she said.

Jones is facing charges of driving under the influence of alcohol and stealing a vehicle.

Projected Winner: Flammeküeche

Unless Deep Sea Eel makes an amazing last minute sprint to the finish line, it looks like Tarte Flambée--or Flammeküeche--is going to be the winner of my "Pizza Topping I Would Most Like to Try" poll.

Although I previously referred to this as a Parisian specialty, I discovered upon further research that this pizza variation actually hails from Alsace:

Alsace is the fourth-smallest of the 26 regions of France in land area (8,280 km²), and the smallest in metropolitan France. Alsace is located on France's eastern border and on the west bank of the upper Rhine adjacent to Germany and Switzerland. The political, economic and cultural capital as well as largest city of Alsace is Strasbourg. Due to that city being the seat of dozens of international organizations and bodies, Alsace is politically one of the most important regions in the European Union.

The name "Alsace" derives from the Germanic Ell-sass, meaning "Seated on the Ill", a river in Alsace. The region was historically part of the Holy Roman Empire. It was gradually annexed by France in the 17th century under kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV and made one of the provinces of France. Alsace is frequently mentioned in conjunction with Lorraine, because German possession of parts of these two régions (as the imperial province Alsace-Lorraine, 1871–1918) was contested in the 19th and 20th centuries, during which Alsace changed hands four times between France and Germany in 75 years.

Although Alsace is historically a German dialect speaking region, today most Alsatians speak French, the official language of the country they have been a part of for most of the past three centuries. However, about 39% of the local adult population, but probably less than 10% of the children, are still fluent in the Alsatian language.

Books I Am Reading

You know how, every now and then, you get in one of those moods where you are reading a few books at the same time, switching on and off between them? Currently, I am multi-reading. The books are:

Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said, by Philip K. Dick. This is actually an old favorite that I am re-reading.

A Private Disgrace: Lizzie Borden by Daylight, by Victoria Lincoln. Published in 1967, the author was a toddler in Fall River during the time that Lizzie Borden lived there. She actually knew Lizzie as a neighbor and spoke to her on occasion. Her book offers some how's and why's as to the murders (of which she believes Lizzie to be guilty).

High On Arrival, by Mackenzie Phillips. If you are looking for a page-turner, this book is definitely one. Mackenzie had a pretty crazy upbringing and life (plus a skilled ghost-writer). Her father, "Papa John" Phillips, was truly a douchebag of the highest (or lowest?) order. She tells her story with equal love of and disappointment in her father--but reading this, I just flat-out loathe him.

Coming Up for Air, by George Orwell. This is one that Guy bought for me and recommended.

What have YOU been reading?

Mall InSecurity

God help us, for some reason I got it into my head that I wanted to watch the movie Paul Blart, Mall Cop, so we're about to give it a whirl. It will probably be so bad that we'll have to turn it off after about 10 minutes (like we did with the Seth Rogan mall cop movie).

Well, here goes nothing....! Update to follow.

Update: Okay! Movie watched. And it...was...kind of charming.

I am surprised to admit that I enjoyed Paul Blart, Mall Cop! It's a dorky mainstream comedy but it was fun to watch. While the Seth Rogan mall cop movie should have been more enjoyable, it just...wasn't. It was unwatchable. The premise was funnier but the execution was poor.

There are a lot of similarities between the two movies, though I think Paul Blart had by far the better script. But it got me to wondering: what is the real connection between these two movies? There are just too many similarities to be pure coincidence. Two movies about mall cops who aspire to greater things, live with their moms, and are trying to impress a cute co-worker?? Observe and Report seemed like a direct parody (albeit a bad one) of Paul Blart. But the movies were released too closely for that. Was this a case where it started off as a single script, there were creative differences, and then it branched off into two different movies? (Like what happened with Antz and A Bug's Life?)

I think I may have found the answer. It seems likely that both movies are actually rip-offs of a third movie--specifically, an independent Canadian comedy that was filmed in 2005 but never released. I bet all the funniest scenes from Paul Blart were just stolen from Mall InSecurity, a movie that is probably the funniest of all three but will most likely now never be released:

"There is a controversy surrounding the back-story for both movies, because both movies rely heavily on the main character from a Canadian-filmed independent film entitled “Mall InSecurity”. Pietro Gagliano directed the television pilot “Mall InSecurity” in 2005, while Jordan McCloskey wrote the screen play and acted in the leading role. The creative duo launched their own website, mallinsecurity.ca in 2006, which is now owned by Balls Out Productions. At this point, it is unknown how much of the idea for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” or “Observe and Report” was sourced directly from “Mall InSecurity,” but for now it is clear that there are some similarities.

"As we see more clips from Seth Rogen’s new movie “Observe and Report”, we will no doubt find more similarities between all three movies. Will this result in copyright infringement? Is it fair use? Since “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” received such poor reviews, does this diminish the significance of the original “Mall InSecurity” as a creative work? Clearly it can’t be seen as a satire or parody, since the original “Mall InSecurity” aimed to poke fun at mall security guards in the first place. It was truly the first of the mall cop genre, if only in spirit. Did Jody Hill or Kevin James actually source their material from “Mall Insecurity”? Probably not, but it is very possible that their characters drew some inspiration from Mall InSecurity, as trailers for the movie have been available online since 2006.

"With a minimal budget and no scheduled release date, it is possible that “Mall InSecurity” may never make it to the big screen. However, given the abundance of alternative media distribution channels, it may still see the light of day."

Compare movie trailers at: http://observeandreport.org/seth-rogen-observe-and-report-mall-insecurity/