There, I said it.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I see her as a performance artist who comprehends and plays with the artificial nature of fame itself.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
That means that today in Seattle, it is officially hotter than Hell. We are expecting a Satanic high of 91 (with the Seattle Times listing the current temperature at 85, although it already feels hotter than that).
Anyway, I'm impressed with whomever came up with the town name of Hell. Genius! Just reading the daily newspaper would be fun, and you could attend Hell High, and when you left and people asked where you were from, you could say, "Hell."
Read more about Hell, MI here:
To my mind, Ed is the obvious choice since 1) he looks like Greg Brady, 2) he seems smarter than most people who appear on this show, 3) he is a funny drunk, 4) he wears interesting retro clothes (which at one point included tiny swim trunks), and last but certainly not least 5) he sort of deserves some kind of compensation for enduring the most humiliating "Fantasy Suite" date of any guy in the show's entire history.
On the other hand, we have whats-his-name. A man so boring that I literally cannot remember his name, Jillian seems to think he's Mr. Dreamy. She likes to gush about how he's "out of her league" and "so incredibly good-looking" which....is he? Everything about him seems totally average and even kind of dorky but...okay, whatever, Jillian. It's your show. We're just watching it.
Clearly, the secret star to emerge this season was David, the trucking contractor from Dayton, Ohio, who won the "First Impression Rose" and then went on the prove how waaaaaaaaaaay off-base first impressions can occasionally be. David distinguished himself on the show by quickly developing a hostile obsession with Juan, a mild-mannered seemingly normal guy who somehow pushed David's rage-aholic redneck buttons all at once, earning his unmitigated hatred. David liked to make weird little speeches about Juan, with one culminating in the hope that Juan "go drown himself." This strangely veiled death threat was made still weirder by its specificity. Meanwhile, Juan, mildly puzzled by David's hostility but not overly concerned with it, responded (like a normal human being) mainly with avoidance. This of course fueled David's grudge still more since, like any crazed hillbilly, David was spoiling for a fight.
But....as Jake the pilot pointed out...."Where is Jillian in all this?" So back to Jillian...
Jillian's problem (in my opinion) is that she is incredibly dull. But maybe the guys don't think so. Hopefully they don't. I'm putting my money on the dark horse.
No, not Reid.
Gaga looks so great with the purple lipstick, it almost tempts me to buy some, even though I know logically that while on her, it reads as "fabulous," on me it would probably read more like, "recently drowned."
I still might buy some and wear it around the house while listening to Just Dance. It's Mac Creamsheen Lipstick in Lavender Whip.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Anyway, you can snack on them or put them on salads. (Again, I don't know what your friends are like; I'm still just talking about the nuts.)
The recipe I like to use is from my own cookbook, Get Out of My Kitchen--I'm Cooking! available at all major bookstores.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine 2 cups raw walnuts or pecans, 1 cup white sugar, and 1/2 cup water in a heavy saucepan. Cook over medium heat and stir for about 15 minutes (until mixture crystallizes). Grease a large baking pan and spread nuts (plus mixture) in an even layer on top. I like to line the pan with parchment paper as well, because it makes clean-up easier. Sprinkle the nuts with salt and bake for 15 minutes. Turn with a greased spatula and cook for another 15 minutes. Let cool. Enjoy!
I was really surprised last week when I was looking at candy at Bartell and suddenly saw a package of Chuckles. I haven't eaten, seen, or even thought about this candy since I was a kid in the 70s! There it was, looking exactly the same as I remembered it. Of course I had to buy it.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
The following quotes are from his 1975 book, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: From A to B and Back Again. If you've never read it, I highly recommend it.
I suppose I have a really loose definition of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. People are working every minute. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.
When I look around today, the biggest anachronism I see is pregnancy. I just can't believe that people are still pregnant.
One mistake I make time after time is not following the Golden Rule: I hold elevators. Also, even though I try to throw things away and simplify my life, I palm things off on other people.
Cash. I just am not happy when I don't have it. The minute I have it I have to spend it. And I just buy STUPID THINGS.
Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, "So what." That's one of my favorite things to say. "So what."
"My mother didn't love me." So what.
"My husband won't ball me." So what.
"I'm a success but I'm still alone." So what.
I don't know how I made it through all the years before I learned how to do that trick. It took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do, you never forget.
...that Hawaiians have over 500 words for "snow"? Apparently, it occasionally snows on Mauna Kea, the tallest volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii. Still, why would they need 500 words to describe snow? Especially since they never even got around to coming up with one word for "ocean." Too busy surfing, I guess.
Because of this, Hawaiians are reduced to describing the ocean by vaguely gesturing and describing it as, "you know, that big blue thing."
It's a mystery, just like so many other mysteries you will find on these beautiful yet inscrutable islands we like to call Hawaii.
This exciting salad hails from Capri, "an Italian island off the Sorrentine Peninsula, on the south side of the Gulf of Naples, in the Campania region of Southern Italy."
Buy the ripest, tastiest tomatoes you can find, of medium size. Slice and arrange on a plate. Buy a portion of fresh mozzarella (it's in the deli section of QFC). Slice this and arrange the slices on top of the tomatoes. Cut the basil into smallish strips and sprinkle over everything. Lightly drizzle olive oil and a little balsamic vinaigrette over the salad, followed by a light sprinkle of kosher salt. (You can use regular salt but I find that kosher salt gives it more "zing.") Serve and enjoy!
....that there are more than 22,000 secretaries in the United States? I am proud to count myself among them. A secretary is so much more than office assistant. She's a friend, an ally, a trend setter, a confidante, someone you can always count on when the chips are down. She's always happy to lend you whatever you need, whether it's a sympathetic ear or an extra typewriter ribbon!
This is the cover of every secretary's best friend, the handy little textbook Secretaries On the Spot: A Collection of Actual Secretarial Situations and How They Were Solved, published in 1961 by The National Secretaries Association (International). Every girl should keep a copy in her desk drawer; it will help her out of all kinds of sticky office situations!
This is a chapter from a helpful textbook published in 1961 called Secretaries On the Spot. As explained in the book's Forward, it contains:
"...a collection of actual problems faced by secretaries in offices all over the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Hawaii. The secretaries are members of The National Secretaries Association (International) whose membership is now well over 22,000."
Heady stuff! The real-life solutions are listed in the back of the book, so you can puzzle over each problem for yourself and then flip to the back when you are well and truly stumped. It's just as relevant today as it was in 1961. Anyone who works in a modern-day American office will instantly recognize the problem presented below:
What would YOU do? ........................See Comments for the real-life solution.
Friday, July 24, 2009
I use a recipe from one of my favorite cookbooks, Clueless In the Kitchen: A Cookbook for Teens by Evelyn Raab.
You cut up 6 slices of bacon and cook them in a deep cast-iron pan. Then remove the bacon, drain out all but one tablespoon of the fat, and add 1 diced onion and one clove of minced garlic and cook that for about 5 minutes, until soft. Then pour in two and a half cups of beef broth and bring it to a boil. Add the rice, the bacon, 1/2 cup diced green pepper, and a teaspoon of thyme. Cover tightly, lower the heat, and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir in two 19-oz. cans of red kidney beans, drained and rinsed, and cook for another 5 minutes.
It's a fairly mild dish, so Guy likes to spice it up using Sam's Secret Sauce.