Electric Eel Cocktail

"We’ve seen mocktails, Baracktails, and now: “shocktails.” Haru’s director of operations and mixologist, Keith Dusko, is pairing a new drink, the Electric Eel, with so-called Sechuan buttons (also called Sansho buttons) that he says create an “electric sensation” when chewed — “like putting a nine-volt battery in your mouth.” (Indeed, accounts of eating the flower bud support this.) The drink itself is a margarita-like mix of premium tequila, sake, and yuzu, but it’s the buttons we’re intrigued by. We’re sure Dusko isn’t the first to use them in a drink, but so far they haven’t gotten miracle fruit-like hype."

From NPR:

"It's a little yellow bud, and when you put it in your mouth, something strange happens.

"It's a reaction that feels "a little north of Pop Rocks, and south of putting a 9-volt battery in your mouth," says Keith Dusko, director of operations for Haru, a chain of restaurants in New York, Boston and Philadelphia.

"The plants are known in the U.S. as "Szechuan buttons," "sansho buttons" or "electric buttons," and chefs here have been experimenting with them for the past couple of years.

"Dusko uses them in two cocktails — one is a martini-like drink with a broken-up button rimmed around the edge of the glass. Rob Welland, the executive chef at Poste in Washington, D.C., is planning to debut an Alaskan halibut dish that integrates the button into a curry sauce.

"It's not just a flavor, it's a feeling," he says, "and I thought that was interesting to introduce into the cuisine."

"Michael Nestrud, a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America, says the plant, known as Acmella oleracea or para cress, has been widely used in South America, Africa and Asia."

Dirty Martini Compliments of Fishstick

I bought a cute little bottle of Absolut vodka the other day and made myself a dirty vodka martini. I loved it! (This is the photograph I took of it.)

Guy doesn't respect vodka-based drinks, but I liked the lack of gin taste in my martini.

Even though I know Gwyneth's dirty martini recipe wasn't exactly original, I still have to give credit where credit is due. She gave me the idea to try it. So, here's to you, Fishstick!

Do you have any favorite toasts? This is mine:

Here's to those who wish us well,
All the rest can go to hell!

Dirty Martini

There are few celebrities I loathe more than Gwyneth Paltrow. Yet, annoyingly, the recipes she features in her newsletter always appeal to me. If she published a cookbook, I would probably buy it.

This week's newsletter included a recipe for a Dirty Martini that I would really like to try...Damn her!:

For Two Cocktails:

• lots of ice
• 6 ounces of your favorite vodka
• 1 cap’s worth of extra dry vermouth (I like Martini & Rossi)
• 1 tablespoon of cocktail olive brine
• 6 high quality cocktail olives (preferably stuffed with pimentos)

Fill your shaker with ice and add the vodka, vermouth and olive brine. Close it tightly and shake it for ages until it’s all snowy on the outside. Place 3 olives into the bottom of a martini glass, strain over half of your icy cold mixture and repeat with the remaining olives and mixture in another glass. Give one to a lucky friend.

An Offer You Can't Reasonably Refuse

David Hasselhoff, indisputably one of the all-time greats. Why? Because he's so cheesy that you almost can't believe he's real.

Along these lines, the Mirror printed this little gem of a story yesterday:

"Aussie actress Sophie Monk says David Hasselhoff has been bombarding her with calls since they met on the film Click. "I've been stalked by the Hoff," she said, but called David a "sweetie-pie" for his support over a break-up. She said: "He would say things like, let's go get some 'Hoff-ee'."

Wow!! How could anyone refuse an offer to meet up with the Hoff for 'Hoff-ee'!?

Even if you didn't like coffee, you would just have to say yes. It would be like if Willie Nelson offered you pot. Even as a non-drug-user, you couldn't say no.

Amy Sedaris' Halloween Tips

From epicurious.com:

"For the last few years I've entertained people on Halloween," Sedaris says, "I've rented a scary movie and turned my apartment into a discount movie theater—vacuuming before the lights come up and all."

It's a simple idea that's easy to execute. Choose your film right off the, ahem, bat. That will serve as the basis for your drink and decor decisions. "The fun of the party to me is the movie I'm featuring," says Sedaris, whose favorites include the classic versions of Dracula and Frankenstein, Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte, The Trilogy of Terror, The Bad Seed, and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

The next step, she says, is creating an in-home theater. To be certain all your guests have a clear view of the movie, place your television or projection screen in a central location, with the seating arranged around it. Make sure, too, that your seating is cushy enough to keep your guests comfortable for a couple of hours—or more, if you're showing a double feature. Finally, give your guests dining trays or set out some small side tables to give them a place to put the dinner and drinks you're going to serve.

It's true that discount movie theaters aren't exactly known for their dinners, unless you count stale popcorn and dusty chocolate candies as a meal. However, no hostess worthy of her charm-school crown would ever be caught dead letting her guests go hungry.

For her discount-theater dinner parties, Sedaris usually serves meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn. "I choose this menu because you don't have to see it to eat it," she says. "This is important, because the lights are out." Nor does the menu require a knife—the one-handed fork operation makes it easier for guests who prefer to hold their plates while eating rather than placing them on a table or tray. It also provides an extra measure of safety should there be psychotic murderers lurking about.

In homage to the season, Sedaris also makes a pumpkin pie decorated with bats and owls. She likes to use the recipe on the back of the canned pumpkin, cutting out shapes in the dough with Halloween cookie cutters to place on top. (Set these on the pie after it's been baking for 15 minutes, she instructs.) You can also make Sedaris's famous cupcakes, decorating them with orange and black sprinkles or frosting (use food coloring), or seasonally appropriate sugar shapes or plastic cupcake picks, available at baking sites such as sugarcraft.com or babykakes.com.

Sedaris also likes to have her guests help carve a jack-o'-lantern at the beginning of the party. "You have to bake the seeds from the pumpkin," she says. "People have an association with that smell." Place cleaned seeds (give them a good rinse, then dry) on a lightly oiled cookie sheet, sprinkle with salt, and then bake them in a 350°F-oven for about 10 to 15 minutes until lightly browned. Cool, then set out in a bowl for snacking.

When figuring out which beverages to serve at her party, Sedaris takes her cues from the movie she's featuring. "Last year we watched The Changeling. I served wine because there was a lot of whining going on in the movie." Bloody Marys, Sedaris says, are always good for Halloween, too. Either of these choices would be perfect with some of Sedaris's favorite movie picks, The Bad Seed, the original Dracula, and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? For the latter, you could also serve the Blanche.

Beyond red wine and Bloodies, there are a variety of drinks that pair perfectly with classic screen screams. Here are some of our favorite macabre matches:

The Shining - Berry Rum Punch

Night of the Living Dead - Zombie

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Sangria

Frankenstein - Corpse Reviver

Invasion of the Body Snatchers - Shangha

Any seasoned entertainer will tell you that one of the most important aspects of throwing a party is to set the tone with music and decorations. Not only does it get your guests in the proper spirit, it also gives them an idea of the type of evening they're in for.

First, send out invitations that look like a movie ticket or film reel, or copy the cover of the movie you're going to feature. To emphasize the discount-theater theme come party time, play some Muzak (who doesn't find that creepy?), drape red velvet over your walls and TV screen, roll out some mildewy carpet, and strew popcorn about. You could even ask a sullen, acne-faced teen to show your guests to their seats. And if you want yours to be a costume party, suggest that your guests come dressed as characters from the feature film.

Sedaris, however, prefers to go with more traditional Halloween-themed decorations. She pins a skeleton to her door, hangs tissue-paper ghosts, and suspends orange and black crepe paper from corner to corner of her ceiling. "That's what we used when we were little, and I still love it." Sedaris might also draw a body outline on her floor. "One year I sprayed cobwebs on an 800-year-old wheelchair I had in the apartment (long story) and placed one shoe on the footrest. I thought it would be scary to think where the other shoe was." She also likes to play an old sound effects tape as her guests enter the apartment. "One of the lines on the tape says, 'Didn't the other children tell you?'"

And because Halloween is a holiday intimately tied with fall and the harvest, Sedaris includes painted gourds and pumpkins, acorns, scarecrows, and leaves ironed between two sheets of waxed paper among her decorations. She also places the pumpkin pie, jack-o'-lantern, and other decorations on a display table for guests to see as they enter her apartment.

Another signature Sedaris touch, which she sets up whenever she entertains guests, is a sale table—a kind of concession stand, if you will. "I sell unwanted items. It can be anything from unwanted half bottles of lotion to a fancy bottle of wine, buckets, sponges, batteries—whatever you want to give away." She charges 25 cents (quarters only), no matter what the item, and caters her merchandise to her audience. "People like to pay for things and I like the transaction. It takes me back to a time when I was selling Girl Scout cookies door to door or collecting Coke bottles. I use these quarters to do my laundry." For your Halloween party, you could set up a sale table with candy or random parts of old costumes.

http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/entertaining/partiesevents/halloween_sedaris_look

A Guy Walks Into a Bar

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavored chips?" The barkeep says, "Sorry, we only have plain."

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!"

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

A man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Give me ten shots of your best whisky." The bartender sets up the ten glasses. The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. The bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender asks, "What do you have?" "Seventy cents."

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

A Helvetica font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here!"

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

From http://funny2.com/bar.htm

"You look like the kind of girl I could talk to."

Diet Mr. Junior Pants

Everyone who knows me knows how much I love Diet Coke. Well, the strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I stopped by a convenience store on my way home to buy my usual 8-pack of Diet Cokes...but when I got home, I realized I'd mistakenly grabbed an 8-pack of Diet Mr. Junior Pants instead!

I have no idea how this happened. It's not like it was Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper or something that even looks a little bit like Diet Coke. Anyone who sees that half-boy/half-squid on the can instantly knows they're looking at a can of Mr. Junior Pants, with its distinctive squid/cherry flavor.

Anyway, it all worked out. I went back to the store and exchanged my 8-pack for Diet Coke.

Whew! I won't be doing that again in a hurry!

Mad Beebo Enjoys Her Morning Coffee

Guy Relaxing at Home with a Martini

Illustration by Shag