1001 Supervillain Quips

I forgot how exhausting it is to start a new job! I have had an intense couple of days. I think I'll get used to it, but the learning curve is kind of taking it out of me right now.

Anyway, in the interest of doing an easy and quick post, here is a cute Mitchell & Webb skit we watched recently. I like the conceit that James Bond and his nemesis both have behind-the-scenes copywriters coming up with their witty one-liners.

The Fat Free Cream Cheese of Doom

It's my second-to-last-day of work--or I should say "work" because, seriously.

The only slightly work-related thing I've done all day is re-label the "Petty Cash" folder so that it now reads "Pretty Cash."

Anyway, it seemed like a good time to finally document the insane hoarding of my former boss by scanning this little item that she's kept in the fridge since 2007. Actually, since before 2007--that's just when it expired. I put it back in the fridge when I was done scanning it.

After that time when I threw away a plastic bottle of water she'd had in there for months (not a new bottle, mind you--a refilled one) because it was getting in the way and because I've never seen her drink water, I found out the hard way to never throw away any of her stuff, not ever, not even when it's expired (as she explained to me) because "it might still be good."

When I protested that I'd never seen her drink water, she said, "I don't. But I always keep cold water on hand, just in case. I do it at home too." When I asked, "Just in case of what?" she said, "In case someone needs cold water."

At which point I said (silently), "Okay, Crazy" and let the baby have her way.

In case you are thinking: Maybe it was your cream cheese and you just forgot about it!, the answer to that is, no it's not because I would never eat "fat free cream cheese" because that's just stupid. Like buying "fat free half & half" (another product my former boss enjoys).

Doodle

This is a picture I drew just now while on the phone with Puget Sound Energy, cancelling my account. The new apartment has an electric oven, not gas like the old place.

Horoscope

My Rob Breszny horoscope this week is extremely apt!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Congrats, Gemini! You have not only weathered your recent phase of relentless novelty; you've thrived on the adjustments it demanded of you. I am hereby awarding you with the rare and prestigious title of Change-Lover, which I only bestow upon one of the signs of the zodiac every four years or so. So what's next on the schedule? The shock of the new will soon subside, giving you a chance to more fully integrate the fresh approaches you've been adopting. I suggest you relax your hyper-vigilance and slip into a slower, smoother, more reflective groove.

Best Worst Movie

Guy and I saw this documentary last night and it was great! And hilarious. I highly recommend seeing it, but if you possibly can, watch Troll 2 first. (And Troll 2 truly is a strangely watchable bad movie that really delivers.)

We saw this movie at Central Cinemas, which offers food, wine/beer, and table service. And the food was excellent! I had a goat cheese artichoke pizza while Guy had the meat pizza.

Here's the description of the movie from the official website:

"Best Worst Movie is the acclaimed feature length documentary that takes us on an off-beat journey into the undisputed worst movie in cinematic history: Troll 2.

"In 1989, when an Italian filmmaker and unwitting Utah actors shot the ultra-low budget horror film, Troll 2, they had no idea that twenty years later they would be celebrated worldwide for their legendary ineptitude.

"Two decades later, the film’s now-grown-up child star (Michael Paul Stephenson) unravels the improbable, heartfelt story of the Alabama dentist-turned-cult movie icon and the Italian filmmaker who come to terms with this genuine, internationally revered cinematic failure.

"Is Troll 2 really the worst movie ever made as claimed by IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes? Or is Troll 2, as some would claim, a misunderstood masterpiece that never fails to entertain… a work of genius? Twenty years after Troll 2 was made, the feature length documentary BEST WORST MOVIE explores the Troll 2 phenomenon through the personal story of the cast of characters that took part in its creation and why it is celebrated by fans worldwide.

"In the summer of 1989, Italian director Claudio Fragrasso cast small-town dentist Dr. George Hardy and a group of unwitting Utah actors in an ultra-low budget horror film, which eventually became the undisputed Worst Movie in History. Soon after Troll 2’s initial release, Dr. Hardy decided he was better suited battling tooth decay than goblins. He retired from acting and returned to dentistry in his hometown of Alabama unaware of the legions of fans that would one day recognize him as a cult movie luminary.

"Nearly 20 years later, Troll 2 has suddenly become “awfully” popular. A corn-on-the-cob sex scene, pudgy-potato-sack clad midgets, and a peculiar plot about evil vegetarian goblins attempting to transform a young boy’s family into edible plants is unintentionally hilarious, yet strangely captivating and highly entertaining.

"Dr. Hardy finds his days of drilling cavities are met by nights of signing hundreds of autographs at record-setting revival screenings throughout the world. Unlikely byproducts celebrating the BEST WORST MOVIE include fan sites, music videos, dress-up dinner parties and even homage in one of the most successful video games, Sony PlayStation’s Guitar Hero 2.

"But what does the director of Troll 2, Claudio Fragasso, think about his film becoming “awfully” popular? Meet cast & crew and learn how it feels to fail miserably and years later be applauded for it. Best Worst Movie is story of one of cinema’s greatest tragedies… or triumph’s –Troll 2. The result is a hilarious and tender off-beat journey and a genuine homage to lovers of bad movies and the people that create them."

Moving

This is a drawing that Guy did of me today (on a piece of cardboard). We're moving into our new apartment this week.

Spaghetti Dogs

"Not that we have anything against a meal that looks like it was made in the Play-Doh Fun Factory press—we’re just not sure if we would eat it. That said, the creation of this meal is actually not very labor intensive: Simply puncture slices of raw hot dog with uncooked spaghetti noodles and boil."

Find more crazy hot dogs at:

http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Food/10-Off-the-Wall-Hot-Dogs.html