Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Disposable Kindle


Have a difficult-to-shop-for bibliophile on your x-mas list? Consider the Disposable Kindle! It's a pleasing gift, and way cheaper than the Original Kindle. Here are a few of its exciting features:

You can purchase any book you want! One book per Kindle. Then, when you're done reading it, just throw it away!

Short books weigh only 7 or 8 pounds. Longer books weigh more, but you can choose whether to separate it into "volumes" or simply buy one. For example, want to read Anna Karenina? Buy either a large 13-pound Kindle--or three lighter ones!

Disposable Kindle is not recyclable. After reading, just dispose of it conveniently in your neighborhood dumpster.

Convenient cord 14 inches in length. Be sure to move your comfy chair close to the electrical outlet for easy reading.

Hold Disposable Kindle at just the right angle to discern all the words on the screen! (If tilted at the wrong angle, page will be unreadable.)

Emits a high-pitched electronic whine which might give you a headache. Not good for people with sensitive ears.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Christmas Is Coming!


I've really been feeling the spirit of getting lately. Here are some things I want:

· Candy Thermometer

· Mens medium pajamas

· Rachael Ray Look & Cook

· Colorful knee length striped socks

· Lush gift box

New season of IT Crowd

Jordan's new autobiography

Red corduroy pants

Psychology Today subscription

Gift certificate for Target

I might not get 'em all, because the purse strings are tight right now, due to splurging on our trip to Hawaii. But that's okay!


What do you want for Christmas?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Here Come the Girls



Guy first alerted me to this commercial (or "advert" as they say in England) for Boots, which is a ubiquitous English drugstore (or "leading pharmacy chain.") Apparently, they produce a special "Christmas advert" every year. This one from 2007 is so cute.

Here are some fun facts about Boots:

"The Boots Company, commercially known as Boots, is a leading pharmacy chain in the United Kingdom, with outlets in most high streets throughout the country.

"Boots was established in 1849, by John Boot. In 1920, Jesse Boot sold the company to the American United Drug Company. However, deteriorating economic circumstances in North America saw Boots sold back into British hands in 1933 with the grandson of the founder, John Boot, who inherited the title Lord Trent from his father, at the head of the Company.

"Boots branched into dentistry in 1998, with a number of stores offering this service. Boots sold its Do-It-All home furnishings chain to Focus in 1998. Boots also made a venture into "Wellbeing" services offering customers treatments ranging from facials, homeopathy, and nutritional advice to laser eye surgery and Botox but these services were abandoned in 2003. In late 2004 Boots also sold off the Lasix eye surgery services to Optical Express. Boots has also diversified into the research and manufacturing of drugs. It developed ibuprofen, a painkiller.

"In 2005 the Company considered moving into selling sex toys but then announced that they had decided not to."

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Monday, January 11, 2010

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Gingerbread Sqwerls


I ordered this gingerbread house kit from Williams-Sonoma and some friends and I assembled it over the Christmas holidays. It was a fun Christmas decoration, but naturally after New Year's it was time to put it out to pasture.

Literally. I decided that my buddies, the squirrels, would really enjoy "deconstructing" it, and they did.

Later that day I saw a crow and a seagull hanging out by the house too. I assume they were visiting the squirrel couple in their new home.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Cat Wrapping (Check It and See)

I'm stealing this from Guy who found it first on BestWeekEver.tv where the hilarious Michelle Collins posted it today. I always forget to read Michelle's posts which is a shame because she is a funny, funny girl.

In addition to being shamelessly jacked from Michelle Collins, this post is also seasonally inappropriate. But it's so cute, I just had to do it!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

"You never really get the mouse perspective, do you?"

What happens when a total smart-ass somehow lands a job on late-night QVC hawking pointless twee crap to middle Americans? Mike Rowe is the hilarious answer to that question. I was sadly unaware of Mike in the 1990s, but thanks to the magic of YouTube, I can enjoy Mike's wild babbling anytime.

I love his loopy stream-of-consciousness, inappropriate references and thinly-veiled contempt for the products he is selling. Mike has now achieved a measure of fame for his popular TV show Dirty Jobs, in which he seeks out the weirdest, messiest jobs he can find and tries them on for size. While it's a pretty good show, the "dirty jobs" still aren't as funny as this one!:


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Chicago-Style Deep-Dish Pizza

I made these pizzas yesterday for Christmas using a recipe from the latest issue of Cook's Illustrated. They turned out really well! You don't need a pizza stone; these are baked instead in 2 nine-inch cake pans. Guy wanted sausage on his, so he made the one on the right (with the meat added) while the one at the left stayed true to the original recipe which is just cheese and sauce (with garlic, oregano, basil, and some grated onion).

It was time-consuming to prepare, because the dough has to rise twice (once at room temperature and once in the refrigerator). But the results were well worth it. Here is the Cook's Illustrated recipe; I revised it very slightly, taking out the parts that didn't seem to apply when I made the pizzas (they included all these notes about the dough being sticky, for example, but my dough was rather dry):

Makes two 9-inch pizzas, serving 4 to 6. The test kitchen prefers Dragone Whole Milk Mozzarella; part-skim mozzarella can also be used, but avoid preshredded cheese, as it does not melt well. Our preferred brands of crushed tomatoes are Tuttorosso and Muir Glen. Grate the onion on the large holes of a box grater.

Ingredients for Dough
3 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
1 1/2 teaspoons table salt
2 teaspoons sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons instant or rapid-rise yeast
1 1/4 cups water room temperature
3 tablespoons unsalted butter , melted, plus 4 tablespoons, softened
1 teaspoon plus 4 tablespoons olive oil

Ingredients for Sauce
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup grated onion , from 1 medium onion
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
2 medium garlic cloves , minced (about 2 teaspoons)
1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes
1/4 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh basil leaves
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
Pepper and salt

Toppings
1 pound mozzarella cheese , shredded (about 4 cups)
1/2 ounce grated Parmesan cheese (about 1/4 cup)
Pre-cooked mild Italian sausage (optional)

1. FOR THE DOUGH: Mix flour, cornmeal, salt, sugar, and yeast in bowl of stand mixer fitted with dough hook on low speed until incorporated, about 1 minute. Add water and melted butter and mix on low speed until fully combined, 1 to 2 minutes, scraping sides and bottom of bowl occasionally. Increase speed to medium and knead until dough is glossy and smooth and pulls away from sides of bowl, 4 to 5 minutes.

2. Using fingers, coat large bowl with 1 teaspoon olive oil. Transfer dough to bowl, turning once to oil top; cover tightly with plastic wrap. Let rise at room temperature until nearly doubled in volume, 45 to 60 minutes.

3. FOR THE SAUCE: While dough rises, heat butter in medium saucepan over medium heat until melted. Add onion, oregano, and 1/2 teaspoon salt; cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid has evaporated and onion is golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in tomatoes and sugar, increase heat to high, and bring to simmer. Lower heat to medium-low and simmer until reduced to 2 1/2 cups, 25 to 30 minutes. Off heat, stir in basil and oil, then season with salt and pepper.

4. TO LAMINATE THE DOUGH: Adjust oven rack to lower position and heat oven to 425 degrees. Using rubber spatula, turn dough out onto dry work surface and roll into 15- by 12-inch rectangle. Spread softened butter over surface of dough, leaving 1/2-inch border along edges. Starting at short end, roll dough into tight cylinder. With seam side down, flatten cylinder into 18- by 4-inch rectangle. Cut rectangle in half crosswise. Working with 1 half, fold into thirds like business letter; pinch seams together to form ball. Repeat with remaining half. Return balls to oiled bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and let rise in refrigerator until nearly doubled in volume, 40 to 50 minutes.

5. Coat two 9-inch round cake pans with 2 tablespoons olive oil each. Transfer 1 dough ball to dry work surface and roll out into 13-inch disk about 1/4 inch thick. Lightly press dough into pan, working into corners and 1 inch up sides. If dough resists stretching, let it relax 5 minutes before trying again. Repeat with remaining dough ball.

6. For each pizza, sprinkle 2 cups mozzarella evenly over surface of dough. Spread 1 1/4 cups tomato sauce over cheese. Sprinkle with 2 tablespoons Parmesan (and sausage, if using). Bake until crust is golden brown, 20 to 30 minutes. Let rest 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Mele Kalikimaka



This is my favorite Christmas song. And this random guy on You Tube really brings it! He emotes a lot, and even addresses the "audience" during the musical interlude. I wish I could sing karaoke with that level of confidence (or at all). Great job, random guy!

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day
That's the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway

Here we know that Xmas will be green and bright
Sun will shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way
To say Merry Christmas to you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Fax from the North Pole

We get these junk faxes at work every now and then; they're from some company trying to sell cruises. They take great pains to try to make them look like "official" missives from the "Corporate Travel Department."

This one helpfully informs the reader that "Our Corporate Travel Department has asked if you would distribute this memo freely to all employees." I guess they are hoping that some feeble-minded secretary will receive it and, fearing the nebulous authority of the fictional Corporate Travel Department, copy and distribute their flyer on our own dime.

What makes this one a little special, though, is that they have tailored it for the Christmas season. The "snowy" lettering informs the recipient that this cruise "CAN BE USED AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT!"

I like the awkward phrasing of that sentence. If you think about it, pretty much anything can be "used" as a Christmas gift, but I appreciate the way they attempted to make that idea seem very novel and exciting.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sticking Out Their Greedy Little Hands

Like most children in the seventies, I used to be obsessed with Mad Magazine and owned a number of Mad books which I treasured and read many times. One of these was a collection of song parodies which I especially loved because I liked to sing.

I particularly remember a series of Christmas-themed parodies (I think this was featured in Sing Along With Mad, although it could have been part of a Christmas-themed anthology instead, I'm not 100% sure).

For some reason, the song that has stuck with me most vividly after all these years is a parody of Winter Wonderland. It's basically a litany of complaints about the "greedy" people who expect tips at Christmastime, like your building superintendent and doorman. (I use the word "apartment" more now, but growing up, everyone was always talking about "the building.") The joke was that everyone who is usually half-assed and hard to reach suddenly emerges out of the woodwork at Christmas to collect their fat holiday tips. I thought it was hilarious.

I didn't realize how "New York" it was until years later, when I started singing it one day and Guy asked, "What are you singing??" People like doormen and supers are a normal part of everyday life in NYC...but in Indiana where Guy grew up, not so much. He was also amused by the stingy mean-spiritedness of it--but that's Mad for ya!

I wish I could find the original illustrations but sadly, I couldn't find them online.

Doorbells ring, it’s the season,
And you know what’s the reason.
There’s someone out there who’s after his share,
Sticking out his greedy little hand.

First to come is the doorman,
He will claim he’s a poor man.
The janitor’s next on some weak pretext,
Sticking out his greedy little hand.

Then will come the superintendent’s visit.
He will ring your doorbell loud and long.
You will open up and ask, what is it?
He’ll just smile and sing a Christmas song!

Later on you’ll get the cash out
For the man who takes the trash out.
How nice they’re all here on one day a year
Sticking out their greedy little hands!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Have a Cheetah-licious Christmas!



In making this video, expense was spared. Wow, what crappy effects! It makes the Wham! video look like a Peter Jackson joint.

But the song and the girls are charming, and I like their little coordinated hip-hop moves. I really wanted Sabrina Bryan to win Dancing With the Stars when she was on it, but that season Hélio Castroneves won the trophy. I wasn't really disappointed, though, because he was pretty adorable too. Then Sabrina started dating her DWTS dance partner, Mark Ballas, which was cute...but then Mark Ballas formed a band with DWTS cutie Julianne Hough's brother, Derek Hough, and by that point, even I was like, "You know what? Don't care anymore! You can all sink back into obscurity now!"

It takes a lot for me to get to that point, but a Mark Ballas/Derek Hough rock band? That is seriously unnecessary.

Last Christmas

I've been really into this song lately. I've been listening to the Cheetah Girls version, but this original Wham! video is pretty awesome. Things I love about this video:

1. George Michael's impressively luxurious highlighted mullet.
2. George Michael exhanging smoldering looks with the dowdy brunette woman rocking her eighties curly bob.
3. The fact that you know those sexy glances are really meant for Andrew Ridgeley.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Babka











Guy has been requesting a babka every Christmas for the past 3 years, so today I finally made good on my promise to make him one. It pretty much took all day, although most of that time is just spent waiting for dough to rise. It's cooling right now--hopefully, it will taste good.

It's from a recipe that was published in the New York Times in 2007. It contains apricot jam and chocolate--I forgot to take a photograph of the chocolate step, which happened right before I rolled the babka.

Figgy Pudding & Mincemeat Pie



Some friends came over last night with 2 very traditional Christmas desserts. Diana made the figgy pudding which is cooked by steaming it for four hours--crazy! It tasted delicious, with an unusual and interesting texture. It's more like a cake than a pudding, but it's the most moist cake you will ever eat.



The mincemeat pies were delicious too, and just from the taste, you would never know that there is meat in them--venison, to be exact. Jennifer went to a butcher at Pike Place Market to buy the venison and the suet (which is a type of animal fat). The mincemeat pies taste like a rich, complex apple pie, and they are very filling.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas Iguana

Don't you love iguanas? Me too. They're so dang cute.

My officemate related a cute iguana story to me the other day. She said she used to have a pet iguana named Jack who was three feet long. Her husband had to build a gigantic pen for him in their den. They didn't realize when they bought him that he would get so big--she said when they first got Jack, he was only 5 inches long, but then he grew.

Anyway, she said that every Christmas they would open up Jack's pen and let him out, because he would immediately run right up into the Christmas tree and quietly hang out there for hours.

And, I discovered just now online, there is even an iguana nicknamed a "Christmas Iguana" because the males turn red and green during mating season.

What are some of YOUR favorite iguana-related Christmas memories?

And now, some for iguana fun facts:

The two species of lizard within the genus Iguana possess a dewlap, a row of spines running down their back to their tail, and a third "eye" on their head. This eye is known as the parietal eye, visible as a pale scale on the top of the head. Behind their neck are small scales which resemble spikes, known as tuberculate scales. These scales may be a variety of colors and are not always visible from close distances. They also have a large round scale on their cheek known as a subtympanic shield.

Iguanas have excellent vision and are able to see shapes, shadows, color and movement at long distances. Iguanas use their eyes to navigate through crowded forests, as well as for finding food. They also use visual signals to communicate with members of the same species.

They respond to visual stimulus of colors such as orange, yellow, pink, and in rare cases blue as food substances.

An iguana's ear is known as the tympanum. It is the iguana's ear drum, and is located right above the subtympanic shield and behind the eye. Iguanas are often hard to spot, as they like others in the lizard family blend into their surroundings. The color green helps as a mode of hiding from larger predators.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Beebo's Deep Thought of the Day

Christmas shopping is kind of like packing...every time you think you are finished, there is always a little bit more.

Please contact Beebo to request copyright permission for use of the above platitude. Works great on t-shirts and mugs. Beebo is also available for parties.

Spoiler: Everyone on my list is getting a live reindeer this year. They're so cute! But difficult to wrap.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Santas

Returning to our neighborhood after an afternoon of very successful Christmas shopping, Guy and I spotted an exciting celebrity--Santa! Or, about 20 Santas, to be exact. They were drinking at 2 of our neighborhood bars. There were tall Santas and short Santas, slutty girl Santas and skinny Santas, classic fat Santas, and even a Santa in a wheelchair. It was very festive.

Since we can see both bars from our kitchen window, Guy took these photos. One of the bars (the Elite) is a gay bar, but I don't think all the Santas were gay, just bar-hopping.

After some searching online, I found their website:

What is Santacon?
For those new Santas, what you need to know is this. Santa can't do what Santa needs to do the night of Dec. 24th without some recon work. So Santa checks out who's been naughty in cities all over the world in the month of December... and sometimes in July. So we suit up and go on a merry adventure drinking as much as we can and spreading jolly cheer. All you need is a pair of good walking shoes, a Santa outfit and the location of where and when to show up and you're good to go!

Basically its about the funnest thing you could possibly do with your time so don't even think about not showing up.

Conventions of Santacon:
- Follow Santa
- No Santa Left Behind! Keep track of your Santa friends.
- Don't wash the suit! Your Disgusting Santa suit is a badge of honor.
- Wear it proudly.
- Bars can be crowded. Its best to carry a backup plan (and a flask!)
- Follow Santa

What are the answers to these stupid questions?
Q: Who are you?
A: SANTA!
A: ELVIS!

Q: Where are you from?
A: North of here a bit...
A: The North Pole!

Q: Why are you dressed like that?
A: Red and White is the new Black and Denim
A: To spread the good word of Santa & Socialism

Q: What are you doing here?
A: Mrs. Claus kicked me out.
A: You're not my mother!
A: Looking for some hot elf action.
A: What are YOU doing here?
A: My sleigh broke down.
A: Trying to steal change from Unicef DING DING DING!

Santa's Little Workshop:
Santacon is a great time for Santa to try out new toys, so whether you've got Naughty and Nice Stickers, Spray Snow, Naughty Cristmas Carols, Stuffed Animal flasks, GIANT candy canes, A Beer hat with candy cane striped straws, New Santa outfits... Santacon is the place to try all that stuff out. Santa loves creativity. If you don't do any of that... don't worry you can always drink.

WHERE IS SEATTLE SANTACON 2009?
Elysian Brewing Company @ Capitol Hill, 1221 E Pike St., Seattle. Remember... Santa is on the move usually within 30-45 minutes of the starting location, so show up early or on-time to be sure not to lose Santa.

From: http://www.meetup.com/partypalooza/calendar/11945124/