Thursday, May 27, 2010

"Are you going to the Nirvana show tonight?" he asked curtly.

Thanks to the early influence of Dynamite magazine, every now and then, a "Tom Swifty" pops into my head (like the one I used for the title of this post). Dynamite would regularly feature lists of these adverb-based puns. They seemed like the height of cleverness to my young impressionable mind. This list is from Wikipedia:

"Who left the toilet seat down?" Tom asked peevishly.

"Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.

"That's the last time I'll stick my arm in a lion's mouth," the lion-tamer said off-handedly.

"Can I go looking for the Grail again?" Tom requested.

"I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly.

"I might as well be dead," Tom croaked.

"We just struck oil!" Tom gushed.

"They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.

"Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously.

"Hurry up and get to the back of the ship," Tom said sternly.

"Would you like to ride in my new ambulance?" asked Tom hospitably.

"Who put the moss in the bog again?" asked Tom repeatedly.

"A word that contains all five vowels? And I suppose you want those vowels to appear in alphabetical order?" asked Tom facetiously.

“Charlatan! Pretender! Mountebank! Quack! Rogue!” Tom said euphoniously.

"I'm not going to evangelize the rest of the neighborhood," concluded Tom distractedly.

"The robber is coming down the stairs", Tom said condescendingly.

"Nnnn", Tom murmured forensically.

"I think I'm a homosexual", Tom said, half in earnest.

"I am the bone lord," Tom proclaimed skulkingly.

"I know who turned out the lights," Tom hinted darkly

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