KAOS vs.CONTROL

In the Get Smart universe, working for a secret spy organization is often as mundane and unglamourous as any other government job. CONTROL and KAOS both offer plenty of petty bureaucracy, standard pay, and similar employee benefits; they each have a labor union (CONTROL's is the Guild of Surviving Control Agents) and a bowling team (to boost morale).

So how to choose? Would you rather be an evil agent working for KAOS or a CONTROL agent working on the side of goodness and niceness (as top agent Maxwell Smart would say)?

The supercool vulture-perched-atop-a-global-egg KAOS logo is definitely an argument in its favor...who wouldn't want to proudly display this lurid logo in their office or home? The CONTROL insignia is fairly uninspired and lackluster by comparison; it's just a gray-blue globe generically emblazoned with the words CONTROL: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

The KAOS uniform is also flashier and more exciting than CONTROL's standard-issue business suits (Agent 99's fabulous wardrobe excepted, of course). CONTROL agents wandering into the Accounting Department of any American office building could safely blend right in. In contrast, KAOS

agents lean more towards berets and leather, and tend to look a bit too militaristic for your standard American workplace. They also like to display the KAOS logo on their person wherever possible, like in this autographed photo of Siegfried proudly wearing it on his hat.

By the way, the autographed inscription reads: "Sissie unt nincompoop vould be a compliment, as far as you're concerned! You schtup it! I've been looking for you in London, Paris, Rome--unt you end up in Manitoba?! Oh well, a KAOS branch, even in Manitoba is better than nothing--or is it? Pull yourself together! Your glorious leader, Seigfried."

Now that's how you sign an autograph!

Clearly, if you lean towards the militaristic and authoritarian, you can't do better than working for Siegfried, the self-described "glorious leader" of KAOS. If you work for him, expect to be more or less constantly reminded that, "Zis es KAOS! Ve don't [insert silly behavior] here!"

The relentlessly silly behavior of Maxwell Smart would never be tolerated for a minute at KAOS. Luckily for Agent 86, the Chief of CONTROL (known as "Chief") has seemingly endless patience for Max's ridiculousness, though this patience is visibly strained at times.

In the final analysis, despite the tempting flashiness of KAOS, I think working for CONTROL is the obvious choice. Sure, being evil is cooler than being good...but KAOS agents seem to have an alarmingly (much) higher death rate than agents from CONTROL. Add to that CONTROL's awesome phone/elevator entranceway, the multitude of cool gadgets, the book of Rules and Regulations that seems to address just about every situation, and I think we would all ultimately choose to work for the forces of niceness rather than evil.

Interested agents may pick up job applications at CONTROL's secret headquarters, located at 123 Main Street.

Get Smart facts gathered from Wikipedia, http://www.tvacres.com/, and http://www.wouldyoubelieve.com/.