Saturday, February 20, 2010

Poopy Diapers

Jennifer did this drawing of my boss, a woman I have affectionately nicknamed Poopy Diapers. (Not to her face, obviously.) Diana's boss is nicknamed Shitty, while Jennifer works for the Toad, who has the most impressively dark undereye circles I have ever seen on a person. Guy works for the Bleeb.

Yes, it's a rogue's gallery of human dysfunction and spectacular personality disorders, but I think Poopy Diapers is ultimately the hands-down winner of the "Who has the worst boss?" contest.

My co-worker Catherine, a sensitive, lovely person, was on the receiving end of Poopy Diapers' wrath for a few weeks. She was giving Catherine the silent treatment--which, I assured her, was actually a blessing. "Now you don't have to listen to her stupid stories about her grandchild," I told her, but Catherine is a sweet, easily intimidated person, and didn't particularly enjoy this experience.

However, when I suddenly became Public Enemy Number One last week in Poopy's diseased mind, I could hear her greeting Catherine on Friday morning with more gushing warmth and friendliness than either of us had heard out of her in weeks. "Hi! How are yooo-oooh doing today?" she gushed weirdly at her. Catherine responded politely, but a few minutes later, I received this email from her: "I'm frightened."

Anyway, Poopy's behavior last week inspired me to order these three books from Amazon. In working for her, I think it will help if I imagine myself as an anthropologist doing field work on the subject of personality disorders.

The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job
Gary, Ph.D. Namie, Ruth, Ph.D. Namie

Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job
Alan A., Ph.D. Cavaiola, Neil J., Ph.D. Lavender

The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't
Robert I. Sutton

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