In order to be a movie star, I think you should have at least one (although preferably more) of the following qualities:
1. Can act amazingly well (i.e. Paul Giamatti).
2. Is ridiculously good-looking (i.e. Halle Berry).
3. For some reason, is just really likable (i.e. Sandra Bullock).
The very best movie stars have all three qualities, for example, I would claim that people like Helen Mirren and George Clooney have all three, whereas people like Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie really only fulfill the second criterion. But their beauty is so ridiculously extreme, that it's okay. Even when their movies totally suck (as they so often do), you can always just space out and marvel at their inhumanly impossible good looks.
Category 3 is kind of a wild card. There are always a few movie stars who have a certain kind of presence and charisma that makes you like them, even when they can't really act and aren't particularly good-looking.
Which brings me to Kristin Stewart. She does not have this quality. I do not like her. To me, she has nothing going for her--no acting ability, very average looks, and inherent dislikability. And yet, she is poised to become a huge movie star, just because of those damned teenagers with their stupid vampire movies. Nooooooooo!
The above clip of Kristin "acting" with William Hurt is so incredibly corny and bad that it almost seems like a parody. Sadly, it is not. It's from an actual upcoming independent film called The Yellow Hankerchief. In addition to her usual terrible acting, Kristin is also attempting a Southern accent here.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Why Does Deadward Love Smella??
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Poor William Hurt, having to act with that piece of dead wood. Remember when he was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood? He was so great.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was the quickest reply ever, I just posted that!!
ReplyDeleteI know. I still kind of like him, he's not even THAT bad in that scene, except that the writing is atrocious. (And he's saddled with her, like you said.)
Did I punctuate this sentence correctly? It really confused me. I wasn't sure if it should be "make" or "makes":
"There are always a few movie stars who have a certain kind of presence and charisma that makes you like them, even when they can't really act and aren't particularly good-looking."
Can you post a clip of William Hurt calling Viggo Mortenson "Bro-hame"?
ReplyDeleteThat is your ultimate William Hurt movie moment, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'll work on it! :P
I checked for you--there are no isolated 10-second clips of him saying it. :(
ReplyDeleteAbout your grammar question: that's a tough one! "Makes" certainly reads better than "make," so I would probably leave it as is. Actually, now I think make would be fine. I don't know!
ReplyDeleteThere was a great clip on youtube of dead wood as a guest on Letterman. She really had NOTHING to say. She's not just a bad actor; she's a boring person.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I could only watch a *little* bit of that. Painful.
ReplyDeleteI also just realized another reason I hate her: she has NO sense of humor. Zero. It's always difficult for me to like totally humorless people, so that's just another strike against her.
I like your nickname for her--Dead Wood--it describes her perfectly.
P.S. Oh, I am glad the grammar question stumped you too--it IS a tough one!
ReplyDeleteOh, I just have to say one more thing: it's also really lame that she only read the first "Twilight" book!! I'm sure they are terrible, but I mean, the least she could do is read all 3 books!
ReplyDeleteWha, lan' sakes, *ah* did a bettah tuhn at a sutthun accent in mah 8th-grade production of a monologue from Neil Sahmon's "The Star Spangled Girl."
ReplyDelete"MIS-tah Coh-NELL, I ayum TAHD of" something something something.
Now, regarding your grammar question:
"There are always a few movie stars who have a certain kind of presence and charisma that makes you like them, even when they can't really act and aren't particularly good-looking."
If you remove the prepositional phrase "of presence and charisma" that modifies "kind," you get "kind... that makes" instead of "kind that make," which I think is preferable. In fact, I'm not even going to present the opposing point of view. I'm that confident.
And star-spangled.
I mean, "kind that makes" with an "s" is preferable. Or, you could take out "kind of" and say "a certain presence and charisma that make..." without the "s," although you might have to say "a certain Sturm und Drang that makes" with an "s" because Sturm und Drang is kind of a compound noun, plus it's foreign. When in doubt, rewrite!
ReplyDeleteHalle Berry—meh. Was it Roberto Benigni who smooched all over her at some awards ceremony ages ago? or was that Adrian Brody? I never realized until now that Adrian Brody reminds me of Roberto Benigni; good for Roberto, bad for Adrian.
I think Sandra Bullock is endearing in a thoroughly NOT Jennifer Aniston or (meh!) SJP kind of way. I hope she wins!
Hmmm, that's a good point--sometimes rewriting is the best solution to sticky grammar problems!
ReplyDeleteYes, I think everyone likes Sandra Bullock...she's just one of those people. Like Dolly Parton. You can't help but like 'em!
"Wha, lan' sakes, *ah* did a bettah tuhn at a sutthun accent in mah 8th-grade production of a monologue from Neil Sahmon's "The Star Spangled Girl.""
ReplyDeleteHahahha, were you REALLY in that??
In fairness...and I HATE to be fair to Kristin Stewart...her reeky acting might stink less with a better script. I'm not sure anyone could make that dialogue sound okay. But she sure isn't helping!